Seeking advice on some issues

So its been a while since ive been here and where my bad habits of the past are gone i still feel so upset and it doesnt happen often but i will explain a little. Recently my son kayden is having a child with his girlfriend and with the troubles at home for me i didnt know what to do so after him and his girlfriend got his own place which is supervised at all times till he gets older and he invited me to stay which i did and it has been good for my mood as of late. Though today after dealing with my mom she made me feel like she doesnt need me around and is glad i left cause ive changed cause of all the old issues i used to have with my grandmother so one concern i need help with is my anger cause yes i try to handle it with my grandmother at the time but im not sure what to do about any of this cause i feel depressed about what my mom said and pretty upset at all the things i had to deal with weeks back so im not sure what to do now.

4 Likes

I applaud you reaching out when you are in need @emoamy666 . It can be hard sometimes to ask for help when going through tough moments. It does sound like you have some stressful things happening. And having your mom say something hurtful in additional to the other stressors just compounds the hit to your already stressed system. It’s understandable to feel anxious, overwhelmed and even depressed. An exhausted mind can seek to shut down, leading to these depressive feelings. I don’t think I’m in a position to offer any advise on your home life situation but I can suggest some ideas for the anger. As someone who has to deal with my own anger energy I often seek out different solutions. I think it’s important to honor the feeling but not encourage it with reasons why you should be angry or rehashing in your mind those events that feed the anger. Instead I like to take 20 min to myself, breathing deeply, extending my exhale longer than my inhale and acknowledge the anger feeling is just an energy while focusing on my breath. If you’re interested, there are resources online that can help like these talks from Tara Brach. I found them helpful in changing my relationship to my feelings. Resources: Awakening through Anger - Tara Brach and these on her RAIN technique. Resources ~ RAIN: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture - Tara Brach. I hope things settle down for you and you’re able to find some peace.

1 Like

From: ManekiNeko

hey there, first congrats on the little baby! That will be such an exciting time, something to bring joy to your life. Sounds like perhaps things are stirring and reflecting on past events? Does that sound right? I’m sure it hurt to hear that your mum is glad you’ve left, but is she coming from a good place? Is this something that will benefit your relationship? Have you been able to sit down and have a conversation with her about how you’re feeling? I find communication can be a huge way to break down barriers.

Hi Friend, Thank you for your post, Im sorry you are struggling right now,. Its seems perfectly normal to me for feelings from the past to come up when issues from the pat come up, we do what we can to manage them but there are some things in our lives that are so deep and so close that we cannot get away from and its healthier to let those emotions out that allow them to fester inside so being here is a great step in dealing with that. Im proud of you. Much Love Lisa. x

So many family dynamics at once can be really tough to navigate. Having a new grand baby on the way can be exciting and worrying all at once, especially when mom and dad are so young. Good on you for being such support to them. I’m sorry that your mother and grandmother are not so supportive. The one thing I learned from my dysfunctional family is that I can’t control how my family might react or behave but I can control how I respond to what they say and do. It’s not easy but I learned how to make my mental health a priority and how to care for my children the way they need. Please take time for you, for self care. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries, they’re healthy. I wish you well with the new grand baby coming. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. You are stronger than you know and you are loved here my friend.

Hey emoamy666,

Casey and Dan responded to your topic live on stream with some wonderful words of encouragement and support.

Here is a link to their video response you can watch anytime you need some encouragement!