From Gravius: Seems like no matter what I do, I always find myself reaching new levels of desperation and agony… I can’t seem to succeed at anything, I always wind up making things worse for myself the people who I care about
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From Danie Winchester: Hey there, may I ask if you have concrete examples of what you mean by “cant seem to succeed at anything” or by “making things worse for myself and the people I care about” ?
I might have an idea of what you’re talking about and in such case we usually put so much pressure on ourselves that we end up self-sabotaging ourselves without meaning to. Also, that leads to overthinking which often leads to complex dynamics in the different relationships we have with partners, friends, and family.
I just wanted to check in on you and see how you’re going.
I just want to encourage you that people who care about you and love you don’t see you as someone who makes things worse. You deserve love and support, and I’m sure it’s bad enough having to battle your own mind let alone question if others view you that way too.
You are so loved
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From Chat Bavard: Hi
Feeling like you are a mistake, like you are a failure and feeling a lot of shame is something I experienced.
That may sound not intuitive but the best solution to overcome this feeling is to accept it. You are not your shame, guilt, fear. It’s okay to have those and you are safe even if you feel them and feeling them doesn’t mean you give up or think that they are the truth about you. Feeling bad doesn’t mean you are bad, it’s just an emotion.
Next time you feel like this, think “ok, I am feeling this feeling… what is it,? Shame, guilt, anxiety?” And then “Even if I feel ‘emotion’ I am worthy of love like any human in this planet and I accept myself”
Accepting won’t stuck you in the emotion, it will feel more comfortable and it will eventually disappear
Accepting is the first step to heal.
About what you think your fail, it’s the same. If you think “i got to success so that I am worthy of love, of existing, of being here” that put a big big big pressure on your Shoulders
You are already loved and worthy. Nothing can change that. Breathe! That doesn’t mean you won’t do anything in your life, that just means you’ll do them feeling lighter 
.
I know it may seem difficult to let go of that belief, but if there were another solution than accepting you would have found it overthinking, or I would because I stayed in your situation for a long time and sometimes I still have anxiety and feel really low.
You may feel something really bad is going to happend but it will be ok!
If you fail, it’s okay! You are going to fail multiple times in your life and that doesn’t make you bad. On the other hand you’ll success as well and it will be nice, but success even if we are proud of it isn’t what makes our value as human beings.
You can do this, you’ll heal 
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From Chat Bavard: And when you don’t detach or you’re caught in a loop of overthinking/negative thoughts, don’t blame yourself for that, it still happens to me, it will happened, when you can’t accept, accept that you don’t accept (it’s weird but works )
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From _gravius: Grades,employment,single=
From _gravius: I’m falling apart,people use slurs against me and I can do anything…the second that I stand up for myself,by saying “stop it” or retaliation (verbal as in “I’m so tired of it”), I get into trouble, but they never care about it
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From _gravius: I disassociate daily=====
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I’m so sorry that’s happening to you. Sadly, standing up for yourself often makes it worse. I take it this is happening to you when you are away from adult supervision. It would be nice if you could record the comments that are being said. I hope you can find a way to get away from such rotten people.
From _gravius: It’s with adult supervision, I can’t escape them
So sorry this is happening to you, Gravius. Dissociation can be such a scary experience. Whenever I find myself in a state of dissociation, I personally try to remind myself that it is meant to be temporary, and it is a way for my mind/body to protect me during a time of high stress and pain. Even if it is frustrating and hard to navigate, your body is trying to work for you right now. I hope you’ll make sure to be gentle with yourself in times to come. You’ve taken some great steps right here by opening up.
You have mentioned grades, employment and being single – this is a lot to navigate at the same time. If you could try to focus on one of those things as a priority, what would it be? 
Sending virtual hugs your way. You are not alone, friend.
Gravius, I’m so sorry that people have been mistreating you like this. Not only it’s not okay for them to insult you, but it’s also not okay to make you fear standing up for yourself.
If I may ask, is it possible for you to bring this to the attention of the adults in charge?
Also, as you’ve posted about this a while ago, how have you been doing? <3
From _gravius: I have been called a creep by 2 people in the past week, yet I’m sure a couple others are saying that behind my back.
I wanna die as 3 people rejected me in the past week, I can’t think of any reason why I should continue.
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From hopeless.one: Would you like to talk more about it?
From _gravius: Sure=====================
From hopeless.one: Where would you like to start?
From _gravius: I get the impression others call me a creep toi
From _gravius: Gut instinct=============
From hopeless.one: Why do you think that they call you that?
From _gravius: Cuz I have intense eyes==