Self harming

I’ve been contemplating cutting myself again each day just gets worse and worse.

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I’m sorry you have to deal with this. How have you managed to avoid it in the past? Is there something going on in your life that’s causing you an unusual amount of stress? Is there an issue with self-acceptance? Can you find some decent company to be around? Are you in touch with a therapist?

You mention “again.” That suggests that you’ve succeeded in avoiding it in the past, hence you can succeed again. There are alternatives to SH. You deserve love, not pain.

Please stay in touch. Perhaps having a bit of support will make it a little easier for you.

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Hey, I’m so glad you came here to share this.

You’re definitely not alone in this. I’ve been there and there are many others like us in this forum too. People feel safe talking about their experiences here precisely for that reason, we know that we’ll be talking to people who really get it and who won’t judge.

For me, my triggers are deeply tethered to shame. In my darkest moments I end up accepting the awful narratives that some people have set up about me. It’ll feel like I’m not enough, I was never enough, and like I can’t ever be enough. I get into a spiral and repeat the messages forced on me since I was a young boy until they feel realer than anything else. Sometimes that’s when I’ve turned to punishing myself physically, but! That’s not the end of the story. I know that these patterns of thought are a result of early adoption and repetition rather than the truth of their content. I was forced into believing them by people who should never have put such pressures on a child, but they did. They were deeply flawed and now I continue to carry those flaws with me, but I’m getting better and better at leaving them behind. There is hope. Things do get better, and they can get better rather quickly.

It gets easier with help, so I’d like to listen if you’d like to talk more. Do you want to share anything more about what your situation is like, and how you’re feeling these days? Maybe then we can offer more precise advice. I promise you that letting a little bit out will make you feel a little bit better, and I promise you that you’re more valuable than you know. I hope you’ll feel that way very soon!

Sending love
Ricky

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I don’t have any money for a therapist

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I constantly try to be a good person but I get nothing in return I just suffer and suffer for it.

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I think self-acceptance is an almost universal issue. It’s usually because of humanity’s culture of attempting to control children through the use of guilt and shame. We want to assume that our family loves us, therefore they’re telling us the truth about ourselves. It’s a real dichotomy to believe they love us, but aren’t being truthful with us. Sadly, they’re rarely conscious of how they’re hurting our self-perception and confidence.

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Dial 211, and ask if there are free services in your area.

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I’m sorry you’re having these thoughts and I can for sure relate to you. What do you think self harming will do for you that will make things better? Did it work before?

I’m really glad that you were able to stop in the past and whatever got you this far… whatever coping skills you used just keep using them. I think you know that cutting isn’t going to solve your problems or even make things good. My experience filled me with shame after the first few seconds of thinking it made me feel better.

I struggle every single day with this and one thing I do is wait it out when I have urges. Wait for 30 mins before you make a decision, just chill and wait. I bet your urges won’t be as strong and you’ll be able make a healthy and safe decision.

You matter and you ARE worthy.

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From what I’ve heard about free services I’m better off dealing with it on my own

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The only thing I know to do is to pretend that nothing is wrong and just bury everything down.

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I’m in a program that is free to me. Most states have a law that says if you meet the mental health criteria they have set, you are entitled to free services. My program is an 89 day thing that I go to every day for 6 hours. It’s a group therapy setting and I’ve made a couple friends there. They feed you and provide transportation.

You can call your Behavioral Health Dept in your county and ask about this.

There is also 211 as Wings has mentioned. They have a huge directory of services and will help you find what you need.

There is help out there for you.

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I guess I will look into it until then I’m just gonna go to sleep at least in my dreams good things can actually happen to me.

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I’m glad you will try and have a good night’s sleep.

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I know it might feel impossible sometimes, but there is hope. I think that hope is what compelled you to share with us. It’s true that what you’re going through is horrible and unfair. It’s also true that we can make things better, and that you especially have the power to make things even a tiny bit better.

Sleep well, we’ll be here to listen more if you’d like to talk more tomorrow.

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I can tell you that this will only make it worse from my experience. Because if you hide or hold onto something for a long time, it gets harder and harder to let go of it.

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Well it’s the only way I know how.

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Perhaps, but even so, what I have done is did something to help with those feelings. Sometimes when I am upset, I make things with my hands. I make walking sticks, decorative pieces, and similar things to take my mind off of what is bothering me.

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Hallos! The temptation of self harming can be very high. But it should never happen no matter the scenario. Being through it my self the ways I overcame it was by calling a hotline and getting advice. Sometimes self-harming doesn’t always need to be a cut. A more safe way is having a elastic band and flicking on you’re wrist you still shouldn’t do it but if the temptation is really high use the method over cutting. For some people just putting red pen on where they would cut actually helps people believe it or not. I would highly recommend getting on touch with a hotline if you’re going through the phase of self-harming has started as every second count. You are loved , valued and respected. Aces

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I think I understand. SH might be the only way you know right now. I think that it’s possible that we could find some new ways for you to feel better. Even if they only help a little bit then I think they’re worth it.

Are you open to trying out some different ways of finding relief? I have some ideas I could share with you depending on what feels right to you.

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This is just another form of self harm. There are other ways that are safe and less destructive.

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