Self hate again

yeah i ran back to the guy i had a crush on who only used me for my body , yeah he lead me on knowning he didn’t want any intention with me . yeah i bought gifts for him, yeah i know i’m stupid , stupid to ever think someone would ever like me … i don’t really want to sound like a pick me person but what did i do to deserve this . what do i do to deserve being hated ny my own mom and sisters … what did i do ? yeah she left scars on me and i can’t get it out of my mind i can’t forget how i was crying and bleeding while she didn’t care … i hate myself so much i really wish i was good enough … sometimes i wish i was skinny enough , pretty enough , have a beautiful smile & face with a smaller nose … i hate my body so much because everytime i look at it i get flashback of everything … yeah i use to get bullied in school for not being pretty or good enough to hang with … maybe i deserve everything , its karma right ? i will never love myself and i think it will stay like that forever… i wish i fit society standards sometimes … i wish my childhood was never filled with trauma and abuse… i sometimes wish i had loving & caring parents…

btw thanks everybody who take the time out of their day to say something nice to me i appreciate it… sometimes i feel like a burden telling my problems to you guys … maybe i need to take time for myself and distants myself from everybody …


Your not bothering anyone on here you are who you are and you just have to try to be proud of yourself. Things will probably get better soon and you will probably meet someone else who you would rather be with. I wish you the best of luck!

That’s not karma. There are people who aren’t partcularly “pretty” and have large noses that end up being loved and even getting married, like my mom.
I’m sure that you have an abusive mother and that you are just abused. You don’t deserve it, it’s not your fault, it their fault for choosing to treat you like the trash that they are. You’re not trash your’e a valid person who is just struggling in life and actually, it’s not that you don;t fit society standards, it’s that society standards are messed up. They usually are.

Sometimes, all the society standards seem to point to that I don’t belong, I don’t deserve to be alive, but it’s really not ttrue and not with you either.

You’re not a burden. Even if you are putting a burden on me, I will gladly take that beurden because it’s worth it. It really is. I’m sure your’e really amazing and wonderful and that society is messed up.
You need to get out of that abusive family when you get the chance.

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