I feel even taking alittle make me a selfish person. I know fuck a lot in life, I hurt people and not a great person. But god forbid if I start thinking alittle for my life and trying enjoy, I’m an asshole. My sister got planet ticket to peutro RICO in June when hopefully this virus. But my work is going give me shit, my dad said I should give up vacation. Then my friend lecture me not to travel. It like I’m shitty person for wanting to enjoy, while everyone get two weeks paid, and get be to treated it better. Like I get sick feeling like I’m shitty fucking person. Fuck everyone. I hate working at these jobs, get paid shit, I’m not perfect enough and it always an dead end road. Everyone just love make me feel guilty. When they say think for yourself, but then when you do your an asshole. It like I’m always fucking bad guy.
Hey friend. It’s okay to take time to focus on yourself. Self care is really important. 
And wanting to travel and get away is totally understandable.
I know right now that times are really rough. Everyone is having a hard time because they are either being forced to work when they want to be home with their family or they are being forced to stay home when they need to be at work making money. And there’s a lot of people that have had to cancel plans to travel due to this virus. It’s awful.
Hey friend, it’s totally understandable to feel frustrated right now. Because life as we know it has basically stopped and has become completely different.
It’s true, right now, nobody should be traveling unless they absolutely have to. It’s too risky right now, to yourself and to others. It’s important that we all stay quarantined and at home so we can contain this virus and don’t risk putting anymore people at risk or expose them. It sucks so much because it means so many of us have to cancel trips we were looking forward to.
You’re not selfish for being upset about it. Your feelings are completely valid. I’m sorry if your family expressed these things in a way that makes you feel like you’re a bad person. You’re not a bad person.
Right now it’s just important that you stay home. We all need to. Everyone. Not just you. Unless we need to be out we need to stay contained for a while so that this virus can be handled.
You’re not an asshole. And you do not have to be perfect.
Self care is important. Taking care of and focusing on yourself is important. And you should continue to do that. Absolutely. It just may need to be something from home for a while. It’s rough all over friend. I promise you’re not alone. A lot of people are really struggling right now with this quarantine.
But, there’s a good community of people here that you can be a part of. You can hang out with us on stream during the week and in our discord. We all just have to come together and support one another through this virus. It will get better my friend. It just may take some time and patience.
You matter. Your feelings matter. How you feel is valid.
hugs