Recently it came up the topic of Self Sabotage. It hit me pretty direct. I’ve suffered from depression nearly all of my life. I’ve tried many pill therapies which do not work or have too many side effects to make it worth the trade off. I’m also over weight. I go through ups and downs. Losing weight, gaining it back, every time I seem to gain more and more. My mom died at the base because of issues related to her weight and for so long it was seen as self sabotage. Many discussions were had about it being a slow way of killing yourself and that all it takes is willpower to fix. I find that I have none, no willpower and an immense will to fix my weight problem but I can only handle eating right and exercising for so long before I fall off the wagon, eat too much, binge and gain it all back. I’ve come to think it is an addiction to food but I don’t really know what is wrong with me. I see me going down the same path as my mother and as much as I want to fix it, I never do. I don’t seem to be able to love myself enough to do what will make me healthy and it makes me think or wonder if I’m doing thew same thing. Am I trying to kill myself? It doesn’t feel like it. What it feels like is a drug. I love food. I hate to exercising and when I try to change those things, I can’t follow through long enough to maintain a healthy weight. Any ideas on what is wrong with me?
Sorry you’re feeling this and going through this. A lot of what you’re saying makes sense. I think in certain ways we all self sabotage to some degree. I think weight lose can be tough because I think everyone’s body is so different in how it reacts to stuff. I wish I could share something amazing and monumental with how to be physically healthier but I don’t. I think just finding things you enjoy that don’t feel like a stereotypical workout is helpful. Like I live in the northeast so walking the dog when it’s not cold and raining is nice or going to a state park to enjoy the scenery is nice. There nothing huge but I think small life changes over time add up to big changes in the long haul and at worst, I got to hangout with my dog more or get to see some beautiful nature.
Hello!! I feel the same way… A couple years ago I had lost a lot of weight and now I’m slowly putting it back on. It’s making me panic because I don’t want to be back where I was weight wise. The one thing I found that has help most with adding more exercise back in my life is finding a routine that works for me. In the mornings I do a walk/jog by myself, I put my headphones in turn on my favorite music and just go, I prefer to go walking/jogging somewhere outside because once I get somewhere I have to go back, makes it a little easier to get in miles that way rather than a treadmill but sometimes I’ll get on the treadmill and just tune into the music to get at least 30 minutes done… In the afternoons at lunch I walk around downtown with a friend, we talk about everything from things that are bothering us to good things going on in our lives… we started off walking a mile then added a second when we found a nice trail near the office. I’m still working on bettering my diet, I love food!! Just try to remember moderation with the not so healthy stuff. I will always have to work hard to be the weight I want to be… but it is possible to reach goals. Walking and jogging don’t have the be the only thing you do either… there are so many things out there that can help get you more active that can help not make exercising feel like a chore. Best wishes!