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Shopping addiction

Anyone else out there struggling with shopping addiction?

I don’t know anymore what to do. I have tried to talk about this, but nobody seems to truly understand. I get responses like “Just don’t buy anything”, “It’s your fault and yours alone”, “Don’t complain, you got yourself in trouble”… I also have told my therapist but she ignores all my troubles and wants to chitter chatter about positive things only.

I have a fiancee, but he is in money trouble, because he always has to pay almost all living expenses. He has a shitty paycheck and his own loans to pay. I study at the moment and have gotten a student loan. I get a new payment in january. My fiancee suggested that I pay all my part payments away with the loan. He doesnt even know how much I have left to pay. I counted that if I pay all away, I don’t have enough money to live by. He doesnt have enough to support us both. I don’t get help from our country’s social welfare. My mom cant help, my relatives wont help, I only have my man and he already has given me all he has.

This has taken a toll on my already shitty mental health, but also our relationship. He is the one for me but I’m scared that I ruin him. He already has shown signs of depression. I feel horrible.

I shop for clothes and things and jewellery. It’s the only thing that brings me joy besides eating and alcohol. I have switched from overeating to drinking and now shopping. I have heard that it’s common to switch one addiction to another. I sometimes wonder if it would be better to have some other addiction, cause then I would be taken seriously and get help.

Long story short, I need to stop buying. How?

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Thank you for sharing your struggles on Heart Support. You have mentioned that you have had struggles with many different forms of addiction. These tendencies or addictions are a symptom of something deeper within. Like a stuffed up nose is a symptom of a cold. More exploration within yourself as to when this compulsion arises, the circumstances that fuel this need and what your thought process is when this is happening may need to be explored. Generally speaking, these forms of actions tend to work like an emotional Band Aid to a deeper hurt or need. Maybe loneliness, or to bring an element of temporary happiness to an existing depressive thought pattern. I would suggest getting to the truest of your emotional baseline. This may require some professional intervention like a therapist. I celebrate that you took the first steps in opening up and sharing your struggles! When your inner need is filled and/or understood, your need to seek temporary happiness through these addictive behaviors may lesson or go away completely. The answers may be within yourself. Seek them out.

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From: sarahtheproud

hey friend. i can’t relate to this, but i really hope that you get past this. i believe in you. just know you’re not alone. thank you for reaching out. stay strong my friend. hold fast <3

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From: nickzasa

a lot of addictions don’t get taken seriously

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From: supermariomakerjack

I feel for you. Please stay safe <3

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From: dame_nation

Shopping is used as a way of coping as it gives an impression of filling a void, much like binge-eating. It’s a natural way to make yourself feel better. No one can tell you “just stop”, it’s not that easy. You have to dig deeper. Recognizing the issue is a huge step already :slight_smile: I wish you the best <3

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From: aesthetic_goose

I’ve had multiple addictions over the years and I feel like one of the only things that genuinely helped me was picking up books on Buddhism, it might not work for you, but I’d say it’s worth a try. (I’d recommend Steve Hagen’s Buddhism is not what you think).

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I feel this. I went between drugs, self-harm and then in recovery of those things, spending money. I would spend my entire paycheque within an hour, buying things online and getting myself into debt. I had to reach out to someone I trusted to lock me out of my accounts, and even now, he still has control of the main accounts because I know as soon as I get them back, I’m going to be doing the same thing. Could you trust your fiance to help you work out a way to limit your spending money? By doing that, you’ll start to break out of that addiction.

As for your therapist, you need to communicate with her about what YOU want from your therapy, if she isn’t giving that to you, I would advice you find a new one. That is YOUR space and YOUR time, they’re there to help you.

Hold Fast
Kayla

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@porridgeprincess, the team at Heart Support are currently discussing your topic on Twitch.tv/HeartSupport. Hopefully one of the moderators shares a link of the clip to you. I spend poorly myself and these guys are dropping some truth.

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Hey @porridgeprincess we went over your topic on the HeartSupport Twitch stream. Here’s the live video response!

Hold Fast

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