I always remember growing up and watching movies or TV shows, playing video games, or even reading books and seeing such a recurring theme: don’t give up. Never give up. On your dreams, the things you aspire to, where you want to see yourself go in life. I believe I’ve tried my absolute best not to give up. But I’m getting to a point where that’s all I want to do. To just give up. I feel like chasing my dream down every avenue that I could try, but I lose motivation so quickly when I hit a wall. People say I should be doing something else. People say I should prioritize making money for my future. People say it’s not worth it or it’s not going to work. I’m starting to believe it. When you hear it for almost 5 years, it starts to sink in, no matter how much i keep chasing. And I’ve tried to direct my dreams and passions to something more feasible. I’ve tried to make it more appealing to everyone else. But i just sink lower into feeling like it’s not even what I want to do anymore…
I just want to give up. I’m waking up with less and less energy to do anything. My thoughts and urges of self-harming are coming back and I don’t like it… I feel like i can’t do this anymore.
Hey @eranwest9,
Thank you so much for reaching out. I can totally empathize you with going through seasons of complete exhaustion. Sometimes even the most powerful motivational video won’t even do the trick. When this is the case, I would just take a step back and meditate on what to do next. For example, I really enjoy hiking and there are a few great trails here in Nashville, so when I need to debrief, I’ll hike around the trails and let my thoughts free-flow. Exercise also helps with the pumping of brain juice.
That said, you mentioned that you have a dream. What is it? What faucets are you taking to pursue it? What burning fire do you have deep down - what makes you come alive? Chase that, and the money will come. Sure, we need money to pay for basic needs (food, shelter, etc), but studies show that once you pass $70K/year, your happiness levels plateau anyway, so I wouldn’t worry about putting “making money” as the #1 priority in your life. Plus, there’s a dangerous trend of wealthy people putting their worth and identity in how much money they make, which can be an unhealthy precedent to set.
In the meantime, check out this YouTube channel. It’s one of my go-to channels if I need some extra motivation in my life.
-Eric
We were just talking, but, I’m going to talk here too.
Even tho for me its not so much about chasing a dream,we’re feeling VERY similar things right now… I feel like giving up on my recovery, I don’t feel like its worth anything anymore - that the only way I’ll get out of where I am is through drugs or self-harm, and those urges are getting stronger. I had plans to learn to drive, go to university and train to become a counsellor… So that I could provide young people who can’t afford the prices for private counselling, but are too unwell to wait a year for the services. that was the dream… I gave up on that because i was told i wouldn’t manage away from home, and my addiction got worse.
but, your dream is something that will take time - you have a whole community to support you, I didn’t have that at the time. It’s hard, but keep going. It’ll be worth it.
Hold Fast
Kayla
hey, you not alone eranwest9
Everybody says “you were given the gift of the voice” “you were born to sing” “you’re inherently good at singing”. I’m like “No I’m not” I’m working my butt off in school to grow my voice. I want to use my voice to share the grace of God. So many people tell me that I don’t need to work I’m just good. That’s not how it works. God gave me the will to work as hard as I am to grow in my faith through my voice. That’s what I’ve always had. God is there. He just might be working in a different way than you want Him to. The one thing I can truly say is that I’m good at singing because of what I’ve been through. My experiences have led me to get my emotions out through singing either for me or for God. It’s a way to let me grow in two ways. As a singer and in my faith. I believe that God is using me and my voice to share his word. That’s the gift He gave me. He gave me the gift of sharing through singing. He gave me the gift of being able to grow my voice. This is NOT what a lot of others believe I should be doing. Some people tell me to improve my math skills because that’s what I’m going to need. I want to improve my voice and my math skills. People tell me how to do this. I want to do something and make a good place for myself. I’ve wanted to give in to what they say so many times. But I haven’t. I’m going to take math courses the rest of high school while taking more vocal courses. I want to major in EDI analyzing, but I want to do singing on the side.
One thing to consider if your dream might need to take a back seat. If it doesn’t seem to be working now, that doesn’t mean that it still won’t in the future. You might need something short term to get by while you work on your goal on the side.
I’m focusing a lot on my extracurricular (probably more than advised) while job searching. My dancing is too important to me to just give it up at this point, so I’m choosing to make it work. I feel like I’m close to getting a job, but I won’t give up my passion.
@eranwest9 Hold Fast friend. Here is our chat about your topic on stream with Matty Mullins.
You know, for years I had people bringing me down and telling me a lot of negative stuff. I had family members calling me hurtful names and saying hurtful things about me. I had friends doubting me or telling me how I should live my life. How to be. I had strangers and people I passively know do the same and I have a mother who treats me like I am scum of the earth. I was bullied all through school, my teen years and even in my 20’s. Youre right, after living around it for so long, the things that people say begin to sink in and it’s really hard not to believe it.
But let me tell you something eran, you have been such a positive light around this community. A good friend. So I know that you are much more than what these people are leading you to believe. If you have a dream that you want to achieve and a goal you want to meet, then do it. Do whatever it takes to fight for that and make it happen. Thrive on all of these things that people say and use it as motivation to prove them wrong! If along the way you have to do other things on the side till you reach your dream goal, that is okay, but that doesnt mean its out of reach.
A lot of the time the things we want are things we have to fight for. We have to put in the blood sweat and tears to make it happen. If you are willing to do that, then there is no reason why you can’t have what you want.
Hang tight my friend. I support you. We are near perfect strangers but I have faith in you. I believe in you. I know that is said a lot around this community to each other, but I hope you know its genuine.
And if you need a friend I am here. We are here. Keep fighting the fight. Stay strong.
-Kitty