My coworker father had pass away and his father wake is this week. My mother think I should go…
However, we not good friend to put it lightly, we actually don’t like each other at all. He try ti get me fired from my job, he put a knife into my face and just always fuck with me. He also a racist, sexiest asshole that think he better than everyone else.
My therapist has mix feeling about, she understands that should not do it because my mom told me do it. And also me and co worker are not best friends. But she does think my co worker would snap at me if I don’t go.
Its of course your decision to go, you certainly have reasons not to and I can see why you don’t want to go. You could think of it a different way tho, like if you do go, it could change the way your coworker sees and treats you. It might touch his heart that you would care enough to attend his father’s wake and he might treat you a lot better.
Then it’s okay to not go and respect how you feel on that matter. You know, your coworker, your mom, your family and relatives in general will have different views and different suggestions. But ultimately what matters most is how you feel about it. If the idea of going there generates pain, stress or discouragement, then you are in no obligation to go there. However if you feel like it would be a good thing to be present at the wake, then it’s also an appropriate decision. It’s a different context of course, but personally there are funerals I never went to because i couldn’t. Emotionally I was just unable to go through that, even though it was about family members I was close with. Ultimately, these ceremonies are for the living, and it belongs to us to ask ourselves how we want it to serve us - as we navigate grief, or in your case as you navigate the intricacies of a complex relationship. No matter what, there is no wrong decision there, and you have our full support either way.
