Should i tell my ex’s mom what he did to me? TW: SA

TW: SA

so back in december, i was at my bfs house and he really wanted me to give him head and i said no multiple times until he was getting kind of aggressive. so i did it. i only realized after we broke up a couple months ago that it was SA and i’m not sure if i should let his parents know because honestly, that was one of the main reasons we broke up. i just don’t want him to do it to anyone else

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From kitkatwrites: I’m so sorry you went through this… I’m not sure telling his parents would be the best idea. Parents often hesitate to believe their child is capable of such a thing. Depending on how close you were before the breakup, they’re not that likely to back you up. Tell your own parents instead, and report him to the police if you can.

Dear @nctzen,

Thank you so much for taking the time to share all of this here, and welcome in this community. I’m truly sorry that this happened to you, and hope you know - or can remind yourself - that none of what happened was your fault. You did not consent, you did not let it happen and you were not responsible of this person’s actions. Having been sexually assaulted in the past, I’ve personally carried a fair amount of guilt on my shoulders that never belonged to me in the first place - so if you feel any sense of guilt, I hope reaching out here and speaking out about what happened would help in pushing those feelings away.

As kitkat said previously, reaching out to his parents directly might be a delicate action, and there is a risk of it being turned against you. It shouldn’t be that way, but sometimes it is. Although raising awareness about what he did is an important thing to do, and the goal you have set is definitely one to support. I would encourage you to reach out to your parents first in order to talk about this experience first for you, then to also have allies by your side who will support you in taking next steps - like confronting his parents, him or even filing a complaint to the police. You absolutely deserve to have allies by your side in this situation. :heart:

From kitkatwrites: We believe you and we see you :heart: