So for the last few weeks I have been heavily keeping too myself. I have been shutting myself into this corner of a space and trying to not let those that care about me in. I act like I am okay but deep down I am not. I have been struggling hard lately to find the energy to pull myself up and do things I had before. I am feeling like it is better to just not bother those that I know care. So I shut myself off and just didnt try to make it to things that I love. I try to do things I love and it just feels impossible. Like all I want to do is either sleep or sleep some more. I cant find the energy to put in to do stuff with others. I have been kind of down on myself feeling like I am not good enough for the people who are in my life. I sadly have been battling with the fact that maybe I would be just forgotten if I just stopped doing the things I did before. Like my love for HS if I just stopped being apart of it would that help the other person I care about to have her own place. Would being away from here mean those around me would be better off. I feel like I am just a burden to those that care about me and that I just need to stop trying to be more than I currently am because it just always ends up bad.
My health is not good and I am trying to not ask others for help or the resources I need. But stuff is just not okay. I really cant find the energy to do much.
Thank you for reading I just feel like I am better off shutting out the world and those I care about because I dont want them to get hurt. I dont want anything to go wrong for them.
Ash