Hi guys, my brother left the house almost a year ago, even before that, I found out he was talking shit behind my back, and since then haven’t talked to him I wanted but there was no trust anymore. Now he doesn’t even respond to my parents, they got blocked from everywhere just because they didn’t pay for his vacation. He was not going to work regularly, and when my parents would advise him, you know to work and take responsibility, he would start an argument and disappear for days, this repeated almost for 2 years. To be honest, I stopped caring about him a long time ago, but watching my mother cry hurts, she worries about him a lot. They were advising him for his own good.
My aunt( she is extremely selfish and loves drama, she always would incite him against my mother ) and my mother, don’t get along so my aunt to spite my mother started to support him financially. Until last week we didn’t know where he was, I asked his girlfriend and she lied that he was with some friend, but then found out that he was at my aunt’s place. I don’t know what to do, she feels betrayed and blames herself. I want to help my mother but don’t know how?
Hey familyGuy, welcome to HeartSupport, glad you are here.
I am so sorry your family is going through this. This sounds like an incredibly painful situation for your mom, I can’t imagine the betrayal she must feel from both her son and sister.
Unfortunately I don’t think there is much you can do about your brother, you cannot help people who don’t want to help themselves. I know it’s a “normal” thing to support and love family but with your brother’s selfish and hurtful actions, it’s totally understandable that you would write him off. It’s an awful feeling sitting on the sidelines and watching someone hurt those we love most.
I feel like the best thing you can do now is continue being a support for your mom. Just be there for her, console her, let her know that you still love her and you’ll stand by her side. I don’t think you can take away the pain she feels or fix your aunt and brother, they honestly sound like people who would only continue their terrible actions if they knew it was causing more pain. I’m also not sure how much good confrontation would do in this situation. But you on your own can provide her with unconditional love and support as she works through this.
Sending all the best wishes to you and your parents. We are here for anything else you need.
Wow, @familyGuy it sounds like you’ve been through a crazy situation with your brother and can’t imagine how hard that must be for you, your mother, and your family. Any fear, anger, worry, hurt, or anything else that you’re experiencing is completely valid. It’s so challenging when those who are close to us are hurting.
As hellosusieqzz said, continuing to support your mom is a great idea. Simply telling her that you care, giving her a hug, and helping her to understand that she’s not alone in this can all be so helpful.
I have faith in you and your family’s ability to get through this tough betrayal and am wishing you all the best.
<3 Tuna
PS: Welcome to HeartSupport! We’re glad that you’ve joined us and hope that you continue to post if anything is on your mind.
Thank you so much guys for the incredible support and valuable advices, I really needed it.
Hi FamilyGuy,
thank you a lot for sharing and welcome to Heart Support.
like said before, the best way is to support your mom in terms of your brother. you and she knows that
you advice him for is own good, depending on his age he might not see it in that way and need to realise
that. or maybe you talk to him in a quiet moment and in a calm way to make him understand a bit
better of the situation.
your mom will appreciate your support friend. thanks for reaching out to us, you matter and you deserve
the best in the world my friend. feel hugged and loved,
Greetings
From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hi Friend, welcome to Heartsupport and thank you for your post. This is indeed a horrible situation and im sorry that you find yourself in it. I can only reiterate what Susie has said, it is very hard to see your mum hurting or upset so be a support to her, listen to her and be there to give her a hug and let her know she is loved and respected, if you get the chance to talk to your brother remind him that you only get one mother in this life and this one loves him and wants the very best for him and one day he may regret his actions, if he does not take any notice then sadly there is nothing more you can do. People choose their actions and with that they choose the consequences. You make the choices in your life and let him make his. Just be a good son yourself and all will be fine. Much Love Lisa. x
From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ
Hi Friend, welcome to Heart Support and thank you for posting. I’m sorry that you’re having problems with your brother. I don’t really think there is much you can do other than to sit him down and talk. Try to figure out what is going on in his head. With regards to helping your mother, I think the best thing you can do is ask if she needs to talk. Sometimes just letting someone vent or talk about their emotions, that is a big help. It’s awesome that you care so much about your mother and the situation. You matter! ~Mystrose