-sigh- tw death

So this might be weird to be upset about. I just read that the lead singer of one of my favorite bands just died at the age of 40 from complications from pneumonia.

This year has just been bad for me.

I listen to music as a form of coping ever since 2000 or so. I started getting way into Rammstein and taught myself up to 60% German fluency because of them. They have been talking about retiring for quite a while and a song called Adieu on their most recent album leads me to believe they are finally retiring and hearing the song depresses me.

My father-in-law died 2 weeks before I had Kiera, who swiftly went to the NICU, after which I got sepsis before she had to have surgery; watching her cry in the recovery room broke my heart.

I’m still paying off hospital bills and now my cerebral palsy is getting bad enough to affect my day to day life.

My mother-in-law now has agressive cancer which may already metastasized. I’m once again not speaking with my mother.

I never know anymore if my brother is alive, dead or in jail because he has fallen so far in the past few years its amazing, in a bad way.

A few days ago Kiera’s closet became soaked and it turns out the people who built this place are even less competent than we initially thought.

And now, yet another one of my bands that I listen to to cope is no more because the lead singer died. Here soon nobody I listen to will be making music anymore. And I know it’s wierd to be upset about this but I can’t help it. It doesn’t help that his death was so untimely.



My mom is a music therapist, so I know first hand that music plays an incredibly huge role in mental and sometimes, physical health. It’s not weird at all to be upset about this singer especially if their music helped you through a lot of hardships in your life. Don’t give up on finding music that helps you. It’s out there and it can be incredibly healing.

Much love,



Hi Friend,
thank you for sharing. i feel so sorry for you and my thoughts are with you and your family.
music is also a big mope mechanism for me, when i hear some songs, i can
completely find myself into that and forget everything around me.
also the good thing about music is that there are so many great bands out there.
don’t give up on yourself, you are doing so great overcoming all of this, still in your progress. we care
about you, we are here anytime you need something. you matter and you deserve everything good.
feel hugged my friend, Greetings


From: twixremix

hey sapphire,

a death in a band you use to cope with is not weird to be upset about. you are completely valid, especially considering everything life is throwing your way with your in-laws, bills, house structure, your own health, and caring for baby Kiera. i’m so sorry you’re going through all of this, sapphire. what genre of music do you like listening to btw? i wonder if you can find new bands that spark your interest in using them as coping music. i also think it’s really cool that your interest in Rammstein brought you into learning a new language! i hope something new can come along and ignite you in the way the other bands did, at least to provide you a lil’ escape from reality.

all in all though, when everything around you is so turbulent, never lose sight of caring for yourself. because how can kiera can be cared for if you aren’t caring for and prioritizing your own wellbeing. you’re a good parent, sapphire. take the time you need and give yourself the grace needed to find stable ground to embrace each day as it comes. through the highs and lows life brings us, i know you can make it through.


1 Like

From: eloquentpetrichor

Hey Sapphire :hrtlegolove: I’m so sorry so much is hitting you and your family all at once like this. It makes life so much more difficult when it piles on like that. You are doing so great dealing with all of it. And it’s so especially difficult when the media we use to cope ends because it can feel like another loss. I’m afraid to say that I don’t have much to say in regards to these health concerns plaguing your family except that I hope things calm down and improve as much as possible :hugs:

Have you ever seen Run, Lola, Run? It’s a German film that you may enjoy and it has a good soundtrack that you may relate to. Might help you with what is happening right now. And if you feel like looking for some music similar to maybe find another band I know that Spotify has a feature where you can put in a song or band and find music similar to it using the Spotify algorithms. You may find some other music that touches you that way and helps you cope as much as these other bands. And create playlists of the songs from your favourite bands so that you can still listen to all the music that helps you. That’s the best advice I can give you

Keep swimming. Keep going. You can do it :hrtlegolove:


I like bands that sound unique. Low Roar was something really special that sounded like nothing I’d ever heard before. Same with Rammstein, Nine Inch Nails, Queen, Rob Dougan, it really varies vastly as long as the sound is unique. I will try the Spotify thing.