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Single mother of 3. I still feel alone almost 90% of the time. They got their own stuff. I go to my job and being around customers lifts my spirits. And I work at a liquor store. But I don’t think of it that way. I talk to a lot of people that just want someone to listen to them. That’s my purpose as your touring around so many fans is yours. Idk what I can do to make you feel better. All I know is life is worth it even when you feel lost and alone. I have been writing a lot of poetry, working out, and listening to alot of music. It helps bring that light back into the darkness. Hope things get easier for ya. Behind ya and thanks for sharing @matmadiro
Yeah it’s interesting to feel alone so often - obviously, with work being a relief - but to have your children have their own lives…it’s weird. For so long they were your world, especially because you haven’t had their dad in the picture - your life becomes about them, supporting them, engaging with them, loving them. It’s a purpose that fills the void of the pain their dad left. But now they have their own life, and that chasm of loneliness has slowly opened up - realizing more and more of their life will have less and less to do with you, it’s like a slow death you die a hundred times over. Which is why work has become such a vibrant part of life - it’s purpose again. You get to listen to other people, feel useful, be caring, be needed. It’s a good thing, it’s something that gets you out of bed in the morning and pays the bills. But fighting against the loneliness in those quiet moments is hard. It’s hard to feel like there isn’t this person at-the-ready to support you, right there next to you, in life with you. To feel like you carry the world of your family on your shoulders, but they don’t know or appreciate or engage with you in ways YOU need. It’s hard. Life is hard. What you’re carrying is hard. You’re strong though - right - so it’s not “woe is me”. You’ve faced hard shit before, and you’re stronger for it. It won’t take you out. But in moments like these when you reflect on what you carry, it’s honoring to acknowledge that what you’re carrying is heavy. Thank you for choosing to share here.
I love your way of looking at your job. That really stands out to me and resonates with me. I remember working in a retail pharmacy and it made such a difference in someone’s day to just listen to them. I also want you to know that I admire you for keeping that positive feeling about your job while also being a single mom. Being a mother has to be one of the hardest things a woman will do. But doing that alone? You are a superhero, mama.
I think that you being able to raise 3 children on your own and work a job is something that is absolutely incredible. Single parents are super heroes. I also love the positive out look you have on your job, and listening to others. Thank you for encouraging others, and sharing some of your own story. Also, you have some awesome hobbies!