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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Slipknot Vermilion pt 2
Slipknot literally has a song for every one of my feelings. I deal with things myself. No one understands. As you said with unsainted not every way of help is the right one. Unfortunately that is all that was thrown at me. So i listen to slipknot and meditate.
Id love for you to do a synopses on Disasterpiece
I’m so glad that Slipknot has helped you. Music really is magic in many ways, it provides us a gateway into our own feelings, and helps remind us that we aren’t alone. That others have experienced this as well, and they wrote a song about it.
I can be really frustrating when people try to tell you how to heal. Especially when you know those things won’t work for you, it just leaves you feeling even more alone and misunderstood. It feels like “if you truly knew what I was going through then you would stop suggesting xyz”.
It sounds like you’ve found a way to manage in your own way through music and meditation. Those are powerful ways to heal, and to connect with yourself.
In this moment the music connected us as well. Which I’m grateful to be able to hear a tiny bit of your experience.
Sending love
I’m sorry that you’ve been told and shown ways that didn’t resonate with you while you were, without a doubt, bravely sharing about your struggles and how you’ve been feeling. It is so hard when you muster so much energy and strength within to get to the point of saying “I need help”, then to be met with a lack of understanding, a lack of validation, a lack of empathy overall. It is the kind of experience that doesn’t make you want to reach out again as it feels like the person in front of you is not really listening to what you say. Somehow, they are stuck in their own vision and don’t seem to meet you where you are at the moment.
There is no doubt that most people have good intentions when they advise or prescribe something that they see as being “the” solution to others problems. Heck I’ve certainly done that at times - jumping on a thought with this feeling inside that I’m going to help the person and fix all their problems. Sometimes, you want to share about something that has helped you personally, and because you’ve experienced the benefits firsthand, you wish for others to have the same experience. But reacting that way creates so much more distance in the end, and a lack of real connection somehow. It’s like two people would be speaking two different languages while having the same conversation.
Personally, I remember this happening to me a couple of times, especially while mentioning the clinical depression I’ve been struggling with, and past traumas. There’s often a real misunderstanding regarding what these struggles imply, and the facct that it’s not just about doing something or finidng some motivation. It’s so much more complex.
I think most of the time when someone tries to share a way they’re convinced to be the right one, they don’t intend to hurt the person in front of them, but they respond more to a personal need of helping the person and making a difference. When you think about it, it’s hard to see someone in pain, especially when we know them personally and care about them. We often assume that the best way to help is by providing advice while really listening holds so much more power, and values so much more an individual’s sense of agency.
I hope that you’ll manage to eventually find people who will always listen to you, to your words, to your emotions and everything you are willing to express. Without any judgment, without any attempt to “fix” something urgently. Only by being there, and welcoming you just as you are. You matter so very much. 