This isn’t a very big problem so it’s okay if you’d like to skip this! <3
So, I have a friend who I am fairly close with and they’re beginning to copy my lingo and mannerisms. I am usually the one to make jokes and weird conversation but she’s been reusing whatever I say and whenever I say it, nobody cares, but when she does, everyone thinks it’s funny and that she’s cool. I don’t understand this? It’s whatever I say but coming out of her mouth instead? I don’t know… everyone just likes her more than they like me and that just makes me feel small. I just feel like the last choice wherever I am and that kind of sucks. I know it’s nobody’s fault and it’s stupid but I just want to feel more included in stuff. There’s some people that we are around sometimes that include me the same as they do her and that makes me really happy but then there’s people who literally forget I exist until I am mentioned eventually or speak?? This is just a really stupid thing to worry about, i’m sorry.
I remember in 4th grade telling jokes and doing impressions that fell flat, but when the “cool kids” did them everyone laughed. Pragmatic 4th grade me, with no sense oh how terrible people could be, pointed out that those were my jokes, and everyone said that they were just funnier when the other kids told them. That was the first time I realized that all people are not equal in social settings, and it really hurt. I lost the student council election that same year after “campaigning” really hard, and those 2 events shaped my confidence and sense of self worth for the rest of my life.
This isn’t a stupid thing to worry about, you can post any of your problems on heartsupport. I see that your friend is trying to steal your personality, that’s a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing is that your friend likes your personality and wishes he/she were like you, but the bad thing is when you try to tell everybody that your friend copies everything you say, no one would believe you. I think you should talk when people other than your friend are around, this is a good plan because when your friend who is clearly jealous of you copies your quotes, the person who heard your conversation will notify everybody that your friend copied you. This is a bit complicated, so it’s my fault if this doesn’t work.
i don’t think she’s trying to copy me or is jealous of me. we might just have similar personalities, who knows anymore. i’m not going to “inform” anybody that she’s “copying” me unless she blatantly is, which she really isnt, she just makes some things we share seem like hers and it’s eh. I appreciate your feedback but trying to get people to turn against her and acting like she’s the problem is just a bit… immature?? I don’t know… Thank you for offering your feedback and taking the time out of your day to read this though. I do appreciate it greatly
Hi @echo. Any chance you could talk to your friend and ask her what’s going on? No need to answer. I agree with yourtherapist about posting anything you are concerned about on the wall and not worrying about if it’s stupid or not. There’s always a reason you’re concerned about something, and if you’re concerned about something, it’s not stupid to want to talk about it. It’s one of the ways that you learn and grow as a person.
There’s a reason why your friend is repeating what you said and ignoring her is definitely not the answer. Like you said, it could just be that you have similar personalities. It could be she’s uncomfortable in her skin for some reason and thinks that copying what you said will make her more confident. Maybe she thinks if she repeats what you said, she’ll become more witty and come up with her own stuff in time. It could be she doesn’t even realize she does it. There’s a lot of reasons she might be doing it. If you’re comfortable talking to her about it and don’t think she’ll get mad at you, I think that talking to her about it would be the best solution.
I know you feel as if everyone likes you less, but I doubt that the others like you less than her. Sometimes we have a hard time seeing how much someone else likes us just because we’re in our skin, not in theirs. We sometimes get a notion in our heads to feel a certain way because of past experiences, when the reality could be completely different. You just never know for sure.
