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Smirky Fan #5

In response to my last, I know that you can be anonymous but I had wanted to add that. Besides me feeling like I’m nothing to anyone, and that others could probably do my job ten times better than me, and just straight up feeling like I’m literally nobody. It sucks. It truly does, I’ve been so stressed with my car and trying my hardest to be a good girlfriend, worker, and daughter; it’s tough. I don’t understand why he loves me like…he could do so much better and as to being a worker, I could be better and faster but it’s tough at the moment. As for being a daughter, I had always felt like my mother wants me to be the ‘perfect’ daughter. – Selenasama_ (this adds to my other text)

Selenasama_,

It’s so brutal to feel like you can even name the lies that you believe…that your boyfriend could do better, that your mom wants you to be perfect and you’re not, that you’re not a good enough worker…and yet to still believe all of those things to be true is so hard…it feels like you’re stuck in this place of knowing the trap yet not knowing how to be free. In each of these areas though it does feel like there’s one core lie that you believe about yourself…that you’re not good enough to be accepted or loved…and that just can’t be true. If love were only for those who are “qualified” do you know how many people would be loved? Literally no one. Even people who perform well Eff things up. You’re not the only one!! If perfection is the standard to be loved, we’re all screwed. Love can’t be conditional on performance. It breaks the definition of love. Love is believing in someone’s goodness. Love is looking past someone’s failures. Love is accepting someone and all they are. If it’s all based on performance, love isn’t even love anymore. YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE RIGHT NOW. As you are. 100%. By your boyfriend, by your mom, by your coworkers/boss. You are loved. That’s the truth.

-Nate