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So, its been a... year

Hi, so this is gonna be very long, but its something that ive wanted to share(get out) for a long time but its been hard to just write it down even.

It all started 24th of December 2020, when my friends uncle tragically died. He was gone for a while after going for a iceskating trip after Christmas dinner and was reported missing when he took too long to come home. It was on national news. When i found out it was him my heart sank, hes my dads age. It took hours for them to find him. He was sent to the hospital in a helicopter and pronounced dead an hour later. Knowing how good this man was, how much influence he had on our little community in our town, his children and siblings children. I broke. I know how much he mattered to my friend and it was hard for me to imagine what she was going through. Every weekend i cleaned his office, and his wifes, and brother (i took over my friends job maybe 4 months before he passed away, cleaning her family buisness building) and was reminded what had happened. She had to go trough that every single day.

Two weeks after new years eve another friend gets a message that her moms boyfriend had suddenly passed, he was also my parents age. I wont go into details, but even though she wasn’t close to him, it affected her and her familys life a lot.

A few weeks later, maybe one? I wake up from my dad calling. He asks if all my friends are ok. I get extremely confused and worried, i expect everything at this point. He told me that this cabin closeby was burning and there were people inside. I didnt know any of them. But it hurt so much knowing that 2 families died that night.

At this point i feel broken, even though no one close to me has passed away. I dont know how to talk to my friends about their loss or situation, because ive never experienced something even close to it myself. I dont know how to help other than being with them like normal.

During summer vacation i was pretty depressed. If i wasnt working, i was just laying in bed. The worst part was not knowing why, it didnt feel like one spesific thing. Late summer i moved to a new city to study, and i had anxiety just going out, but i was still happier than when i was home for some reason.

I start uni and its fine, i felt like i might have chosen the wrong thing pretty early on, but i push trough. “Ill get trough a year of this, easy”. (spioler alert: its not all that easy). During one class i get a message from my mom, telling me that my friend from where i grew up has passed away. 19 years old. We hadnt had contact the last 2 years, but it still broke me. I texted my friend who was close to both me and him. That helped a bit.

During this first semester i keep getting sick, one or two weeks each time, and its never good timing. Always getting tested for covid. I miss a lot of school and socialising. Have periods of depression and i struggle to sleep. I finish one project and get a weekend to relax and spend time with my family. The next project is for our exam and i manage to get sick on day 2 of preparations. I ended up being sick for 2 weeks and missed a lot of preparations(all of it basically), i still try to finish the project and i DO, kinda. over the course of two looong days i present it and get feedback, and watch my classmates present and get feedback. Im done but tired. I had stayed up day and night to finish it. A week later, i got the results back and i failed the exam. Even though its not the worlds end, it just sucks.

At the same time my grandfather had been suffering a lot from memory-loss. Two of my grandparents had strokes after i moved. The top of the icing its my aunt that is against vaccines and masks. Now my other granddad is too scared to get vaccinated because of everything she’s told him and i now its been 2 years since ive hugged him.

Ive also done a lot of things that made me happy and proud! Got my drivers license, graduated, moved in with friends. But right now its feels like the bad outweighed the good. Ive realised that life can end at any time so being with family and friends has become a bigger need for me, but thats also hard with a friggin pandemic. All in all it just feels like a pretty bad year and wanted to get it out, life has just sucked and been filled with stress and sadness.

Luckily i got a lot to look forward to in 2022!
Heres to a better 2022!

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Thank you for sharing your 2021 experience. You are certainly not alone in having a difficult year. I am really proud of you that in spite of numerous setbacks and hardships you identified several bright spots – that is a testament to your resilence. I remember the university years as being plenty challenging without a pandemic, and your generation is having to navigate an additional burden that no other college generation has needed to contend with in over a century. Congratulations on the graduation and other accomplishments, and I hope that it only gets better for you (and the world in general) in 2022.

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Hello Dear @butterfly

Agreed, last couple years have been so crummy in some ways, it can hurt our hearts so much to hear about all the losses and tragedies around us. I really recommend you keep talking about these instances with the ones that you care about and it may really help ease everyone’s hearts. Talk about the good times too, the memories with loved ones or something really silly that happened.

That’s what I’ve found reinforced in my mind recently is to not take this life and those we love for granted. I’ve found that I value time with my loved ones more and those little petty annoyances or small arguments matter less. Embracing special interests and fun activities has become more important as well. I think it really is important to build these memories and connections with those we love more than ever before.

Anyways, I hope that 2022 can be a wonderful year for you, make it a great year! <3/Mish

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From: listening2day

Life is both a journey and an adventure. And in that sometimes we face walls and difficulties. And sometimes those are thrown upon us. But we also can have wonderful things. And sometimes we have to pick ourselves up and walk along even with blisters on our feet. The point is keep plodding forward despite and see what unfolds. And hold the good things that those you know that have passed in your heart and shine those ahead in your path like a light. Best wishes on your unfolding journey. The blisters on the feet will heel in time and you will be able to move forward in the future. In your own time.

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From: twixremix

hey butterfly! thank you for being here on the forum and allowing us in to give you our support and love. from everything you shared from the deaths to your move for uni to your weeks of illness to your grandparents, it sure has been a year. i am so proud of you for all you’ve endured, persevered through, and survived. i’m also proud of you for recognizing the good that 2021 brought you as well even though the year was brutal. getting your drivers license, graduating, and moving in with your friends are huge steps in life! looking back on it all, i truly hope you can reflect on all you can get through and how your 2022 ahead will be a lot better. i do want to mention that when you said you didn’t know how to support your friends during their own losses of loved ones, just you being there as their friend is enough. in the future, if they need to talk through their grief, they’ll know you can be their shoulder to lean on. until then, the friendship you can give others heals hearts more than anything. all in all, you made it to 2022. sure, there was stress and sadness intertwined with most of 2021 but you made it. 2022 is here for you to make the most of it! i believe in you! love, twix

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, butterfly and welcome to the forum! Thank you for coming and sharing your story with us. It’s always wonderful when someone feels comfortable sharing with us :hrtlegolove:

It has indeed been quite a year for you and I’m sorry it’s been so hard with so much loss and struggle. The main thing that stuck out to me was that you are not excited about the major you’ve chosen and you aren’t sure you want to continue with it as you struggle. I did the same thing and I kept trying to make it better. I spent four years struggling in a major I wasn’t passionate about before finally changing and I wish I had done it sooner. So I just wanted to share that with you in case you are still struggling in your classes and not sure it is something you want to do. Maybe you could try talking about it with some friends or a guidance counselor (or an equivalent that your uni has) about potentially switching to something else or a way to try finding something you might enjoy more. Whether you change paths or stick it out and keep going with your current major I wish you all the luck in the world and I’m sure you will be amazing at whatever you end up doing in life.

Please feel free to come share with us anytime and I look forward to reading more updates on your life. :fingers_Crossed: that your 2022 will be brighter :hrtlegolove:

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Thank you so much for your post, welcome to Heartsupport, I am so glad you are here. My goodness what a year you had last year. I am so very sorry for all of the losses that you endured, its heartbreaking to read, I cannot imagine how it feels for someone to go missing like that and to not know where they are is something i think few people experience thankfully and takes it toll on all the people involved. I understand why all of that situaion would upset you and make you feel hurt for his friends and family. You then go on to experience further horrific and sad deaths and all of this is bound to have affected you in a massive way and that is perfectly normal. I want you to know that having those feelings is normal, its horrible but its normal and the way to deal with that is to share those thoughts and fears, if you can find someone to do that with that would be a great asset to you. All of these things all of this stress and anxiety will have taken its toll and the best way you can celebrate the life of these people is to get out there and succeed in yours so maybe therapy, work and live, do all the things these people never had the chance to do. thats what i want for you. to live. much love lisa. x

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Hey, just wanted to thank everyone that took their time to read and reply to me, it means a ton.

(I made this account about 6 months ago and wanted to be anonymous then, but i know a few of you who replied and i feel like you should know its me, if that makes sense lol?)

Love CathrineEve <3

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Yeah so this is also something that Im proud of myself from 2021, i have been pretty open to my friends and family about me not being happy with my choice of major. I was debating on dropping out, but that would be a mess for a lot of reasons. I therefore spoke to a guidance counsellor and found out that i could just take som other classes that are relevant to what i wanna maybe study later.

After the summer Im taking a year off uni while i still can (and i feel so lucky to have that as an option). Ive started applying for schools that have no grades or exams and instead focuses on learning what you’re passionate about, being active and getting new friends!

hi there,

Sounds like you’ve have both ups and downs, and it sounds like you’re navigating through it well. Glad you got a support system going, and we are always here for you too! :slight_smile:
It sounds like there was a lot of loss experienced by others, and you’ve felt the secondary pain that comes from seeing people you care about feel sad and hurt. Just be there for them, let them share their grief if they need to talk, and keep being your awesome self. Sometimes words aren’t needed to comfort someone, just knowing you’re there for them is what they need.

And I too have another name! hehe I’m Rohini_868 from twitch :slight_smile: good to see ya here friend!

Here’s hoping 2022 is a great year filled with tons of happy moments for you!

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