I am married. I have 2 kids of my own and 3 step children. My husband and I don’t have any children together. Last year around this time I tried to get him to let me go. To let me find myself so we can work on us and be happy. He did not want to let me go so he said he will try to be there more. He will try whatever it takes to fix us but he did not see why I needed to be alone to do this. Well it has been 1 year and I still feel lost. I feel my depression has because worse in turn making my panic attacks worse. I was going to leave him and move back in with my mom but she changed her mind about letting me stay there. (She does this regularly) she makes me feel like I can never get anything right. I started talking to a random guy who friended me on FB. He was charming and made me feel happy… which I have not been in a while. His is a story for another time and probably not on her. My husband found out about him and didn’t like it. We talked and he didn’t want me to leave he wanted us to stay together. He wants to help me work on my issues and work on us. I dont feel anything for him at this point. I feel like I share a bed with a friend (who likes to be irritating at the worst times.) Even personal things between us feel different. He very much does not understand what I am saying I need. So in having no choice but to stay for now. I feel like I am pretending through this until I figure out what to do. Where do I go from here? Will I pretend the rest of my life. That thought makes me wanna cry. I still think about that other guy even though some crazy things happened with that part of the situation. Where has the spark gone. I can’t find it in my husbands eyes anymore but he says he loves me so much and he wants to be with me forever. Thursday is our 8th anniversary and I have to work. I want to say I wasn’t upset or bothered about it much. I feel guilty for how I feel and what it is doing to him. I also feel guilty because he would do anything for me and he does help me out when I really need him. I feel like the worst wife in the world for letting these feelings happen. I know some say you can’t control your feelings. There are instances where you can choose to not put yourself in that situation but I did anyway. I am so lost and confused and i still feel alone even with him hugging me. What do I do?
hey,
you seem to be in a sticky situation, but it is okay, you will get through it.
okay, first, what made you lose feelings for your husband? is it that he kind of forced you to stay in a loving manner?
second, this is your choice… you said you have a job, work and save up so that you can move into an apartment by yourself.
third, its okay to feel like this… sometimes, things happen like this, my question to you is do you ever think you will have true feelings for your husband once you get better?
fourth, is that all you need? time? if so, have a chat with him (i know you have done this, but sometimes people need to respect and let go which he isn’t doing.) so what i suggest is you save up, have a deep conversation with him letting him know that it has come to the point of finally and actually needing space and that you will be moving into a new apartment soon. tell him once you are healed you will be back (if that’s what you mean.)
i want to help you, so please help me understand every little thing if you need don’t feel comfortable sharing, all i can say is that you will be okay, just try to work on yourself and try to save up to leave (temporarily). if you feel comfortable sharing more info, i think we can privately dm if you don’t feel comfortable sharing it in public, either way, will work! lots of love to you and i am here for you.
~ trinity x
- I have spent at least half of marriage alone… we didn’t live together. And when we did and do he is always working. I understand supporting your family but I help and you are the manager of the store if you need a day you need to call someone in to cover for you to keep your wife happy and spend some time with her. He can’t do that and won’t do it. I wouldn’t mind sharing this in private. This is the answer to your first question.
hey,
okay, great… want to communicate though email?.. i tried to check to see if we can dm here and it isnt a thing…
~ trinity x
hey!
i sent an email!
hope to speak to you soon!
~ trinity x