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So this sucks

So remember how I said in a previous post that I can’t enjoy something without something else just punishing me afterwards? Guess what? :upside_down_face:
Last week I had to give 2 concerts, which was basically a debut for me as a solo singer. I also went to see 2 of my friends and now I have Covid. I should’ve known better and not have looked forward to the concerts. I don’t deserve to enjoy the good things on their own… everything just sucks… sorry
Why am I still trying to enjoy things if immediately afterwards I’m gonna be punished for it in some way or another? It’s just stupid… sorry
And hey… Maybe I’ll die from it… At least then I’ll no longer have those stupid questions or feelings anymore…

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We all have those kinds of days. Days where everything is going your way, and then all of a sudden something happens that seems to negate all the positives.

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The point is that it happens immediately afterwards. I go on tour for a month and when I come back I’m told that my dog and grand uncle (who we were all close with) died. There’s a big opportunity for me to play in an orchestra abroad and a week after I’m back my grandfather dies. I’m making a huge step on a personal level and a couple of days it doesn’t matter anymore because something else bad happens… It’s always like that… Sorry

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Thats unfortunate. Hopefully things get better. Life has its highs and lows. I know it does. But you have to keep on believing that things will get better, even if something bad happens.

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From: Micro

Hey friend.

There are times when the saying “one thing at a time” really applies, especially when we are physically sick on top of other life stressors. For now, your health and recovery is going to be a priority. I know it’s frustrating though. I’ve been unable to walk for three weeks now… I miss going outside, I miss feeling a bit more free of my movements. It’s exhausting. As depressed beans we are more vulnerable to these illnesses that not only put us down physically, but also affect our mental health somehow. Time plays a huge role during these moments. It is defeating, but you are not defeated. It’s a week or so to go through, to rest, to listen to yourself and respect your limits. This is not taking away from you the wonderful time you had with your concert, nor the joy or pride you could have felt from it. It’s another chapter, an unfortunate one, but also one that will be closed pretty soon. So take your time to rest. Do things you like and that are not exhausting. Use this time to take care of yourself, to listen to your body. There will be more concerts and more smiles in the future. It’s all worth it, even if at times we deal with some shit and unfortunate events.

I wish you a speedy recovery. Rest well my friend. Be safe. :hrtlegolove:

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From: Dark Weeb 666 (Matt)

Hi nyntje. I know its seems really hopeless right now. Like you are being punished for being happy but the truth is ist just bad luck. Its not always going to be like this. It sucks i know, it really does. But the truth is things will get better again. I know they will. I know you are tired and I know you are also tired of hearing this but it is the truth. Its not all bad. I think sometimes it would be easire if it was but its not. Our depression makes us think it is but thats not the truth. There are good things here too. I hope there will be more of them in your life soon. You are strong nyntje and you are a good person. You dont deserve to suffer like that. You deserve to be happy :slightly_smiling_face:

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@Ashwell , @Micro , @Slayer5639
I’m sorry, but thanks for reponding

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From: Taladien

Hey Nyntje,

First and foremost, don’t feel bad that you got the thing that pretty much EVERYONE had gotten. It’s not a punishment, it’s not a consequence of wanting to live your life. Especially now, as the risk is lowering with current knowledge and science.

You know you’re loved and valued, friend. I love seeing you pop up in Twitch chat. (You made Dan pog pretty hard this week). Those negative and intrusive thoughts can be hard, but please know, they are just that: Negative and intrusive. You’re a blessing on this world, and I look forward to catching you again in a stream. Be well, friend. :hrtlovefist:

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Friend, I just wanted to tell you that getting COVID isn’t a punishment for going out and having fun. Millions and millions of people have gotten it because it’s a sickness going around, not a punishment. I hope that you are doing better today and don’t have bad symptoms. You matter! ~Mystrose

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From: Mamadien

I’m sorry you’re home sick with Covid. I hope you recover quickly and completely. It’s no fun. I just recovered from Covid in the last week myself. I had gone out after church with friends and the next day we all found out we were exposed. Now we’ve all boosted our immunity by getting through this bout. How are you feeling? Please don’t think that getting Covid is punishment for doing something that you enjoy. It’s not your fault and it’s not a punishment. It just stinking happens. I get it that it feels like a punishment because I felt the same way for a couple of days. Please instead be kind to you and know that you deserve enjoy wonderful things. You are a wonderful person who is valued and loved (especially by all of us here). Please let us know how you are feeling.

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hey Nyntje, Thank you for your post my friend, I am so sorry that you have got covid, I guess at some point the chances are we will all get it if we venture outside, I hope its a mild version for you and that you are over it soon. I honestly dont think however that you caught it as a punishement because you went and enjoyed yourself, I understand why your brain is telling you that as I have had thoughts like that in the past myslef (for years I was told that i had bad luck because of my surname) but if you look at it from a different point of view, you could have caught it in a supermarket just as easily. You went out and had a good time, you are allowed to do that, you deserve to be able to do that, there is no one who doesnt want you not to do that… Theses are negative thoughts. Nyn, when this happens write these thoughts down and then list next to them what the other possible reasonings could be it could help with trying to make sense of things. Get well soon my friend. much Love Lisa x

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