Social anxiety

  1. Identify a personal goal that you would like to reach. What are the changes you want to create in your life?
    Example: “I want to take action in recovering from my alcohol addiction.”; “I want to create a healthy sleep routine.”

My goal is… I want to overcome my social anxiety

  1. Formulate your goal in a way that is specific and measurable. What does it look like when you’ve succeeded?
    Example: “I will reach my goal when I will hit 6 full months of sobriety”, “I want to be able to sleep 7hrs/week for at least 4 nights/week”.

I will reach my goal when… I’m able to go out with a group of people and join in on the conversation and have a good time without feeling anxious or just being in a group setting and feel content.

  1. When do you want it to be done by? Make sure to define a healthy and realistic time line.
    Example: “In eight months, by 12/18/23.”

I want it to be done by…within a year or two


It sounds like you have an ideal long-term goal. Keep in mind, far reaching goals are accomplished in smaller steps. For example, a far-reaching goal may be “I will build a house and have it complete within a year.” In order to have that house, it will be necessary to take a lot of steps. Perhaps the first step will be to buy foundation blocks. That might be the first goal-to get the blocks. The next goal might be something like “I’ll put a dozen blocks in the right place tomorrow.” The process of building something great involves small steps that you can really know that you will accomplish.

Managing social anxiety includes small steps towards desensitization. For example, “tomorrow I will meet with two of my friends and be more focused on the interaction than my discomfort.” You can gradually increase the number of people you are around or the length of time you are around them. Another thing to consider is if you can identify one or more triggers that lead to such anxiety. If you can “reframe” or change your understanding of those events, it will help you progress.

Even a lot of famous people believe that having some anxiety when in front of a group, actually helps them perform better. However, I agree, it needs to be manageable, and even in its presence, a person can both appear and feel confident, even while being pretty excited inside.

Can you think of a goal or exercise that you can accomplish this week? For example, can you decide to visit a friend or two and end up feeling good about it?