Today, I got notification from my app that someone try to take money out my debt card. Thank the universe that did not happen and I have my card on off. But lit a very intense rage, while I was at work , I want to explode really bad. I think my other co worker noticed and I felt really anger. Like I want to murder the person or the person family for taking my money. Or flip out on social media, or punch a locker. Lucky I was to put cool clothes on me and take a walk for a bit. But still had very intense rage and depression. Cuase my work only does direct deposit. So someone just take all my money I work hard for.
They struggle with my (BPD) where I get intense strong emotions when even little things goes wrong. It suck I was depressed for my mom mother day dinner and i really very impulse and to point want to be violent.
For example let my ex friends said I was terrible friend to him. I want to beat the shit out him and degrade him to make him pay for disrespecting me. Like I go from zero to thousand in snap finger.
Everyday I try avoid these episodes and try to be good with people. I wish I was not like things.
If you struggle with (BPD) what do you do I. Crisis mode and what help with these intense emotions. Thank you!!!
Hey @Metalskater1990 Im sorry to read what happened to you today that must have been very worrying along with being frustrating and annoying. Its understandable that you would have reacted with both fear and anger and yes that the thoughts were indeed extreme but you handled it brilliantly by cooling off and going for a walk, that was a brilliant way to calm down, clear your head and think about how you were reacting.
It sounds like it was perhaps a scam message?? that can happen but it is something that obviously you have to take seriously incase it is is real, its awful to think that anyone can just take anything that a person works hard for, its not right by anyones standards, these people are not nice people but if it will put your mind at rest a lot of banks are covered by this sort of thing so if it did happen you would possibly get your money back but you would have to check that with your bank.
I hear you when you talk about the intensity of your reactions due to BPD and that must be so frustrating to you and I know you are working hard to try to control that and it is working, you have come a long way in the short time I have been reading your posts, I have seen huge changes in the way you talk about how you manage your moods and reactions to things so please give yourself great credit for that. We are all still a work in progress Metalskater, we never stop learning how to do things better.
You are always going to come across people or things that you either don’t like or don’t approve of thats just how life is, you are doing the right thing by learning how to manage you BPD, you did exactly the right thing today, Im proud of you. Much Love Lisa xx
I’m glad there’s a system in place that protects your money. A lot of institutions are going to two factor identification in order to access accounts. Sometimes it’s a password and a question. Other times, it’s a password and a code sent to you email. With a debit card, you can change your PIN. That should help. You can also change account numbers, but that might lead to a glitch in receiving your direct deposit pay, but if you talk to your bank and your employer, it should work out.
What do you usually do to deal with the sudden emotional storms? I understand some people go for a run, or do other physical stuff, till they’re tired enough to relax. I spend time listening to relaxation music and a fountain outside the window.
The great thing is, you didn’t act on the angry urges. You deserve plenty of respect for that.
I’m so sorry that that happened to you, but it could also be a scam message like Lisa said.
Big big respect for knowing that the rage was caused by it and for not acting on it!!
Truly mean that, it is such a good step that you can identify the anger and its cause and have violent thoughts but NOT act on them! That’s a lot of progress!