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Something good! /trauma related topic

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#1

I had a good day. My 21st birthday, just yesterday! I wanted to bring this up because I finally got over a particular trauma related memory.

When I was little, there was a period of time me and my family had to live with our cousins because we had nowhere else to go. Unfortunately they treated us horribly. We were left in a freezing cold basement and when my mom would come from work, she had to sneak food in because they not only were not open to cook for us, but the quality was “very not good” to say the least.

Unfortunately due to being in the freezing cold basement, I started feeling very ill, to the point my skin was turning blue and my veins were popping out. (My mom later after my birthday took me to her friends house to recover)

For my birthday, I remember a cousin coming in with a metal bucket for me to vomit in, as well as a cheap vanilla cupcake. Since then, I absolutely hated cupcakes. My siblings would joke around with me all the time asking if I wanted a cupcake whenever we’d go shopping because they know I’d give a hard NO :laughing:

I believe it was either last year or two years ago I actually started eating cupcakes again, and this year for my birthday, I ate cupcakes. Admittedly nervous about it hours before hand…I ate a cheap vanilla cupcake for my birthday, and it felt good.

That’s all, take care and if you read this, thanks for stopping by :heart:

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#2

Oh hun @itsnotoveryet, I’m sorry you’ve been through this, and that is has been also associated to such an important day that is your birthday. But how beautiful is your message here! A real testimony of resilience, and that healing goes along with all the little steps and changes that occur over time. Jeez, you deserve to enjoy these freaking cupcakes if you want! Memories are there, but they belong to the past. You’ve been doing something very strong and symbolic in order to replace these experiences where they belong in your personal story. Well done! Maybe one day you would cook your own, so it would be entirely yours, who knows? :slight_smile:

Also: happy belated birthday! I hope you had you wonderful day made of love, joys, and time spent with people who are dear to your heart.

Merry Christmas friend. May this new year incoming be also full of wonderful opportunities and blessings for you. You have grown so much in such a short time! And it’s only the beginning. :muscle: :hrtlegolove:

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#3

this made me get all teary, i’m glad you were able to reclaim that bit of peace and claim back cupcakes!! I’m also glad that it sounds like your family bonded a lot thru the experience. Hope things are better and more stable for you all now, much love and happiest of birthdays to you friend!!

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#4

Thank you @Micro , yes this was my way of leaving the past to the past and not letting it stop me! I really appreciate everything you’ve said. Maybe I can make some cupcakes sometime, I just realized I’ve only made muffins, which technically aren’t very different but in this case for me it is.

Also thank you again and Merry Christmas to you too! You are an amazingly strong person I really look up to :heart:

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#5

Hello @Sita , thank you for sharing this with me I really appreciate it. I am also glad to claim cupcakes back! I am doing well and thank you again! Take care :heart:

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#6

Maybe I can make some cupcakes sometime, I just realized I’ve only made muffins, which technically aren’t very different but in this case for me it is.

It is the same base, but it is very different indeed! I was thinking that, one day maybe you would have the possibility to make some that would be very creative and tied to an imagery that you personally like and gives comfort to you. Although even just the process of doing can bring a different connection with it.

All in all, you are growing magnificently. It’s a real honor to see you sharing all of these life updates here.

I am truly inspired by you. Not so long ago you’ve given me hope again in the possibility to work again. Just the fact that I wasn’t alone in my struggles and fears, and that it would be possible to overcome them at my own pace. I probably never verbalized it directly to you, but, thank you. That’s also how much of an impact you have by sharing what’s on your heart and your story. It is very real and significant. :hrtlegolove:

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#7

Oh my goodness, I do not know how to respond. What you have said to me is exactly how I view you. I am very grateful that you have helped me, and that you took something from my experiences as well! I’m sure you know this deep inside but hope is always there, if something is possible why not give yourself the chance to make it happen?

Thank you for all of your responses and your inspiring experiences that have impacted me. Take care of yourself and take those opportunities you desire because you deserve that for yourself. :heart:

(Also, creative cupcake making will be done sometime for sure!)

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#8

From: SPC.Teixeira.I

happy birthday first of all, all i can say to this is u have to be strong so u can take care of your mom when u grow older and older, and i send you my best wishes and luck in your life my friend.

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#9

From: Ash

First off be proud of this amazing accomplishment because the fact that you were able to enjoy something that was so tough on you before is amazing. I also have things I cant enjoy and feel have been taken from me due to what others have done to me. This trauma you have suffered is not right and I am sorry you had to go through it but I am glad you are learning to overcome it and that you are working to become better and stronger despite it. Keep up the good progress and I am excited to see where you go.

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#10

You ate one! Congratulations on being able to eat a food that deeply ties to trauma (because of that I won’t say the word, have had a friend where if I said a certain food he’d break down in tears •n•) that’s a hard trigger to break past, and you’ve finally done it! Be proud you deserve it.

My my… That… Sounds terrible, jfc. I deeply and terribly sympathize with what you went through. To imagine that happening… That’s horrible. That should have never happened and I’m proud of you for taking the steps to get past it, I am so proud. You are amazing.

I don’t know why they would do that to you, or why your parents did take you out of there, but to say the least, I’m glad that’s over for you.

I hope you continue to get better and one day can fully get past this trauma.

Have a lovely day,
-X

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#11

Hi itsnotoveryet
Wow you and your family have really been through a lot. I am sorry you had to go through it. You cousins are really shitty. Like who puts their own family in a freezing basement :confounded:. That is just fucked up. I am glad tho that things are better now and that you are able to enjoy vanilla cupcakes again. It is a sign that you are leaving that horrible experience in the past while moving forward which is good. You can be proud of yourself :wink:. I hope your future is bright and full of good things. :slightly_smiling_face:

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#12

Hi @itsnotoveryet! Love your name! Happy belated birthday!! :confetti_ball: :tada:

I’m so sorry you went through the horrible time of living with your cousins in a freezing basement, that sounds awful. I had to read your post again and noticed you’ve turned 21, and I’m a couple of years older than you but I can’t imagine going through what you went through. But I’m sooo proud of you for overcoming the trauma the memory brings, that is so incredibly strong of you! And eating cupcakes again?? That’s honestly inspiring, it takes a lot of strength to reclaim things that previously gave traumatic or negative emotions. I hope you have a lovely holiday season and continue to move forward stronger than ever <3

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#13

Thank you very much @Systemofconfusion , and I am very sorry to hear about your friend. It didn’t seem hard to break past thinking about it now, until I actually thought of it again, kinda sucks but I consider myself past it. The whole situation was complicated, I’m just glad it’s long over. I really appreciate your kind words.

Take care :heart:

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#14

Hello @Ashwell , thank you for taking your own time to respond to my post, I really appreciate it. Yes, we have not associated ourselves with our cousins for that and many other reasons unfortunately, distant family in general.

Things are much better yes, that’s thankfully long over. I agree, I am moving forward! Thank you so much again. Take care :heart:

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#15

Hello @misty , thank you very much! I appreciate you taking the time to express your concern, I really appreciate everyone doing this, it means a lot to me. I’m thankful to move past all of this. I hope you also have a great forward-thinking holiday season and thank you again, take care :heart:

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