Sometimes I feel like if I just had someone to physically hold me things would be ok.
My body hurts, my chest has been heavy and I don’t know why.
I don’t want to get out of bed today. I’d rather just sleep. I’m too weak to even want to drink water that’s right next to me. I’ve been turning to complete junk that’s been killing my body.
I went to the doctors yesterday for a checkup and basically just lied my way through it. I was too tired and drained.
“Do you have any suicidal thoughts?” No. Of course not.
I’m a liar.
I can’t help my friend, I can’t help anyone.
It hurts to see the people you try to help go back to where the pain is.
It hurts to know maybe I’m just being dramatic. Maybe I’m just too weak. Maybe it’s just my issue and I have to get over it.
Sometimes I just wish I had someone who truly loved me more than a friend to just hold me. I can’t even get my sexuality straight. I just want to feel ok.