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Sometimes I feel like


#1

Sometimes I feel like if I just had someone to physically hold me things would be ok.

My body hurts, my chest has been heavy and I don’t know why.

I don’t want to get out of bed today. I’d rather just sleep. I’m too weak to even want to drink water that’s right next to me. I’ve been turning to complete junk that’s been killing my body.

I went to the doctors yesterday for a checkup and basically just lied my way through it. I was too tired and drained.

“Do you have any suicidal thoughts?” No. Of course not.

I’m a liar.

I can’t help my friend, I can’t help anyone.

It hurts to see the people you try to help go back to where the pain is.

It hurts to know maybe I’m just being dramatic. Maybe I’m just too weak. Maybe it’s just my issue and I have to get over it.

Sometimes I just wish I had someone who truly loved me more than a friend to just hold me. I can’t even get my sexuality straight. I just want to feel ok.


#2

I know what you mean. I have friends and family but no one to hold me. It can be so lonely at times it hurts. In the past I turned to some pretty sketchy situations just so I could be held. You’re not being dramatic. It’s perfectly human. You’re not alone in your feelings.


#3

Maybe it happens. Will you be content? What if your expectations of having such a relationship doesn’t meet your expectations? Where do you go from there?

I was always an introvert (still am at times) and desired to be around others. I always thought being around others would be enoguh to fulfill what I desire. Well now I am around others and still feel as lonely as when I was literally alone. Now I’m hoping to make some true friends. I doubt when I get these friends this loneliness will stop. Then my friends won’t be enough. I’ll need a lover. I’ll get a lover than that won’t be enough. I’ll need more than a lover. I be always alone. This is my fear. I use to break on this fear.

Not so much anymore. Maybe I’m cold? Hard to say. I am lonely. Did I settle on being alone? No. I just don’t think that my loneliness will ever go away even if I find what I’m looking for.