I’m 25 with my own car , got my own license, and have been dealing with anxiety and depression for a long time. I have gotten little to no support from my family and its genetic, they run in my family. I earned my college degree. I still get way too nervous around people even though I’m on Klonopin and I have to take Kratom on top of that to be able to handle being somewhat normal most of the time around people. They limit my Klonopin right now, I was on a higher dose that was allowing me to function normally but was forcibly dropped after switching doctors and can’t switch until my insurance changes.
I was telling my grandmother, the only person I thought I was close to, how Im working hard now and meditate and read books, and I was telling her how it stressed me out that I’m an adult but I never have any privacy at home because the room I live in isn’t actually a room. And she told me to ask my father about getting locks for doors,I told her he wouldn’t care and likes to have a reason to barge into my room. She said I’m making it up. So I actually texted him about it, got his reaction, and showed her the texts. I mentioned that the only thing I do they don’t like is take Kratom in the texts.
She forgets everything else and tells me I’m taking a substance that affects my mental state. I told her every drug changes your mental state and the DEA probably isn’t the best place to get your info from. I told her that the DEA likes to scare people and can make motrin sound scary, and basically allowed columbia to import cocaine into the US so they could then arrest people for it during her lifetime. She told me I’m talking bullshit and suggested I’m trying to get high from the kratom (I’m not, I take a small dose before work to help with social anxiety 3-5 days a week) and said I’m “going down the wrong path again” (I used to smoke pot and drink a lot. I dont do either anymore).
I told her I’m just citing science and history,and that maybe I think what she’s saying is bullshit, and she’s trying to tell me she is quarentined to avoid Coronavirus(which is a lie) and won’t help me talk to my uncle about renting a room from him for 2 weeks or let me stay with her for 2 weeks and maybe we’re not as close as I thought we were, and to please not contact me for a few weeks.
She’s like 73 and recentley widowed a year ago. I feel bad but she literally doesn’t care enough to lift a finger to help me for 2 weeks. I dont have a quiet space to work in and my job is phone support. She’s lying to me about being quarantined and won’t ask my Uncle for me.
I’m not sure if I should apologize. I care about her but she doesn’t want to help me. I love her, she’s like the only person I feel connected to in my family. I’m just so pissed she said I’m a conspiracy theorist and was talking bullshit, and saying I’m getting high off of the plant I take to help ease my anxiety. Like her and my uncle both have huge houses. They both have a lot of money and could easily help me afford a place for a couple of weeks like an airbnb. I personally think she’s pissed I proved her wrong and me shattering her image of my dad being a nice guy made her lose her lid.