It’s only the second day of being a freshman and I’m already being fucking harassed. Because I have no friends and I never want to have friends because I can’t trust anyone, I know how society works and making new friends isn’t a thing. If I did try to make a new friend, they’d probably tell me to jump off a cliff or bitch-slap me. I sat on a table that is the furthest from anyone and some kids then come to that table and they notice me. One of them said, “What the fuck is wrong with that kid?” They all then began to silently talk shit about me and continually stare at me. I have to sit alone for 30 minutes every day for the next four fucking years, if not longer, with no friends. It’s just the beginning of a new age of mental warfare and relapsing memories. When can I finally die.
Now before you comment, “You should talk with your counselor,” that will do absolutely nothing. My damn high school has over 3,000 students and I can’t even single out a person’s facial features.
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Hello thendermanfan5!! Thank you for posting what you are going through. High school can be such a difficult and cruel place. I know what you mean. I was the biggest outsider in the school. The person that did hang out with me was always asked why do you hang out with her, shes quiet and weird and always reading. I was never able to make friends. I can relate to this. No one wanting to be bothered because they feel like you are not on their level. I think people like those are insecure, and they want so badly to fit in, that they forget, when they leave high school, it will all be over and most of the time, they end up suffering more in the long run. I understand about the counselors, they have so many students, that when you do talk to them, your just another face, and they forget you and your issues. I used to be where you were. I know its difficult now, and you feel like things are unbearable. I just want you to know, that you matter. I can be your friend if you want. Im here if you ever want to talk. It was so noble of you to come on here and being so young acting more grown then the adults I know right now, and having that ability to get on this platform and share how you truly feel. I truly appreciate your post and I hope to hear from you very soon.
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I absolutely know where you are coming from. People, especially kids, can be really shitty.
Something I’ve found really helpful is talking to people online. I know this is very cliche, but I’ve made more friends online in the past few months than I have in person in my entire life.
If you’re anything like me, you’re going to immediately think, that won’t work for me. I can’t talk to people, and people won’t want to talk to me. As surprising as this is: you are wrong. All you need to do is find likeminded people, and be yourself around them. If people think you seem cool (which will happen. It did for me and I’m a complete loser haha) they’ll approach you.
I can be friends with you if you want. I know you’re probably going to turn me down because I’m a complete stranger and why should you trust me right? Just know that that’s an option, and there is at least one person on this earth who genuinely wants to be friends with you. 
Thanks for sharing. I was brutally bullied from 6th grade through 12th. Physical, verbal and emotional abuse was an every day occurrence. It was hard. I made my friends and found my relief in ROTC. There were trips during the school year and people who thought like me. It helped. I’m not saying ROTC is right for you. I don’t know you. But if you can find some group that has the same interests as you, it might help. Also, don’t let them beat you into failure. I did. I hated school so much I blew off my school work and my grades suffered. Beat them by beating them in every class. Excel and make something of yourself. Who knows, the bullies may be coming to you looking for jobs one day. Don’t give up.
Sitting alone attracts attention from bullies. Try sitting at tables with other people, preferably not cheerleaders or jocks, who tend to bully everyone. I was constantly bullied in school just because my evil stepmother made me wear clothes that were too small, and I barely fit into them. Kids can be jerks, and adults can be bigger jerks but not everyone is one. Finding school clubs that interest you or other activities can help you find friends that at least have similar interests.
I can’t even create a new topic now. First I can’t use the Discord server and now I can’t post a new topic here. Am I really a disgrace to society?