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Starting out lives over


#1

I honestly need a bit of advise…

Lately with everyhting going, between court with my sons father and now with my son having speech problems i have honestly been thinking maybe its time for us to start over some where that isnt here in the States. Is it wrong to want to just pack a small bag and get on a flight to somewhere new? Never telling anyone where i went just disapear and start over? Am i crazy for wanting that? Is it running away? After everything we have been put through am i wrong to want to not have to deal with my family his fathers family…

I just feel so confused and so unsure of how and why I want this…

I want whats best for my family… What if thats not with my family…
In my heart I want to pack up and leave this whole life we have here behind and never look back and just start over…


#2

Hi Friend,

Sounds like you’re in a tough position right now. No, there is nothing wrong with wanting to start over and get away from it all. In fact, it’s pretty normal for someone to want to move and get away when things have been rough. You’re not crazy.

However, I know when you have kids, just uprooting and moving isn’t as simple as just upping and going. Because I know there are legal things that could take place. You obviously can’t just disappear. I don’t know your situation or the role of the dad, but you certainly wouldn’t want more legal issues by running off with a kid. So I’d make sure everything is okay in that department first.

But if you have custody and moving is safe to do, so long as you can do so responsibly, there is nothing wrong with wanting a change of scenery and a new environment.

I can totally understand the longing of getting away from unhealthy relationships and life style. I basically did that myself. I had to cute off from family members, I had had to leave an unhealthy relationship, and I moved to a state I didnt know much about to start over.

Make some realistic goals for yourself and the things you want and see what kinds of things you can do to achieve those things and make them happen. Focusing on things that are healthy for both you and the kids. Follow your heart and do what makes you happy. <3


#3

Have you ever considered talking to him about it?.
People can and do change if it’s been awhile maybe he’s had time to think about stuff and maybe he’s changed. Everybody deserves another chance especially with a child involved. A father deserves his son just as much as you deserve support with him even if it’s not money at least emotional support and help with your son. I say you give him a chance to show he cares. If he messes up he messes up at least let him try.


#4

I’ve considered it honestly. The thing is I am unable to forgive him for what he’s done. Something I feel as a person and in my heart I know I can never forgive is the man who raped and beat me while I was pregnant with our child.

I had to hold my son down last week while he kicked and screamed because he took me to court for a DNA test because he claims I was a whore. That our son isn’t his. When he was the one stepping out. I for 3 years turned a blind eye and my back to the many people telling me I deserved someone who cared for me as much as I did him. It wasn’t until the day I thought I had lost my son after he attacked me that I realized that I needed to fight back. I was 26 weeks pregnant and I needed to fight off someone who was supposed to protect me. Protect our unborn child because he was mentally sick. I understand that everyone deserves a chance and I’m always the one to forgive. I just don’t think I can… or want to. It sounds horrible and maybe it is, but can you blame me? I realize that some people change but not everyone does. I honesty wish I could give him the opportunity to be a father but each day that I have sit in court each day that I have to watch my son go through this… makes me want to just run away and not tell a soul where I’m going and no one would ever know where we went. I feel more then ever with how everything is happened that I just want to move away and never look back.


#5

As to the first part no that isn’t right and never is but there are many people who don’t have their lives together and end up doing something stupid like that. After serving sometime and reflection most os then realize their mistake’s and change. Maybe just talk to him about it give him a chance that doesn’t mean a relationship again but just talking abut your kid seeing if he’s changed and working things out.

As for he second part you don’t know if there’s underlying things there I know I friend of mine wentry through a similar situation from the opposite side with paternity testing but him and the mother broke I up. His friends and all his family were pushing for a test even though he was on the certificate he knew the kid was his but they kept isiting prompting him to say anything just to get the test. It’s hard maybe he’s under pressure to do it by people. But again maybe he’s not maybe he meant it idk the situation first hand but you won’t know his reasoning or if he’s changed either unless you talk to him