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Starting to hate my job, again and love/hate halloween

I hate feeling no matter how hard, I try I can’t never do a good enough job. For past four days, I been working like dog without a break for 3pm to 11pm. My impulse that snap is pretty tense and I just throw shit at my job. I’m still on probation period where not fully protected by my union and I get can die like forget to stock paper towels. Having anxiety everyday about being a failure and not able being a adult.

Also halloween is one hardest times of the year for me, cuase I don’t have a lot friend or girlfriend. I miss the feeling of it when I was a kid, going trick or treating. Missing going to Salem with whole family. My sister told that halloween is kid holiday. But I still miss the innocent about it.

I hate thinking life just more and more depressing when you get older

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I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time at work, @Metalskater1990 I’m sure that it’s really hard when you try so hard to get your work done, but forget to do some things. I like to write a list when I have a lot to do. I have a hard time remembering things and it really helps me. I have a note pad and sometimes I use my phone to make a note. When I’ve done something on the list I cross it out. I always feel good when I see it done :slight_smile:

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Hey Metalskater1990,

Megs26 responded to your post today on stream with some wonderful words of support and encouragement!

Here is a link to the video so you can watch her reply,

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Hey @Metalskater1990,

Happy Halloween. Thinking of you today. I hope you can enjoy the day and feel a bit of a spark of this childhood innocence that you’ve been missing lately. Adult life can be terribly stressful, full of responsibilities and seriousness. But we also get to choose when we can have fun, to push away commitments and adulthood rules for a bit. It may not be exactly the same as when we were young, but it can be as fun and enjoyable. It’s up to us to make sure that we keep this inner child spark alive, each and every day. :hrtlegolove:

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Hey there @Metalskater1990

Let’s start here - you should be getting breaks and lunches in your shift EVERY day. If you aren’t, that is a big red flag for the job. Even if you are on probation for the union, you should still be treated well. You aren’t failing, your job is failing you if that really is the case. For sure talk to your lead/manager and make sure they are getting you breaks.

I think it can be really disconcerting when you have to look back at the childhood experiences, and missing out as an adult can truly be tough. It’s not the same, it might not ever be exactly the same, but it’s ok.

We make our own experiences in this case as adults. For example I made a weekend experience with my family where I got crafts to paint together and we all had a fun time. I had to plan and coordinate but it was fun.

I also get kinda sad/mopey in holiday seasons if I look back at “how it was” but it has gotten easier as I have made my new traditions with my spouse and family. Some times it is disappointing, for example I was pretty disappointed this year that we didn’t get a ton of trick or treaters, but we had a lot of fun decorating and I got tasty treats for those who did come out.

I would say try to not let it get to you, and if you want to have fun, you will probably have to be a bit more actively involved in it. I pretty much worked all holidays for the first 10 or so years working, now I always try to bid for vacation days that are around holidays so I have time to plan stuff with family.

Hoping that helps with a different perspective/Mish

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From: twixremix (Discord)

hi metalskater! happy to hear from you, my friend. i’m so sorry that the past week has not been the easiest at your job. working that long with no breaks is bound to cause stress and frustration. however, you are NOT a failure so please be kinder to yourself and your heart. you feel the weight of your job and responsibilities as an adult, that just makes you human, not a robot, not a failure, not anything but the amazing person you are. please prioritize taking care of yourself so you can feel in a more peaceful state of mind for your next shift. you got this! when it comes to halloween, i definitely agree with how you feel on missing the innocence of halloween and childhood all together. however, it’s especially exciting to create your own new traditions for holidays like these. it makes adulthood a lot less difficult and a whole more hopeful. for example, my new traditions are to buy my favorite candy bar (and knowing my username as twixremix, i bet you can’t guess which i get), watching scary movies, and dress up my puppy. even though we age, we can still have fun with life. what will be your new traditions next year to make halloween something to look forward to? wishing you an amazing november ahead! love, twix

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From: Lisalovesfeathers (Discord)

Hey Friend, thanks for your post, I am concerned however that you are becoming overwhelmed by work and anxiety and wonder who you have to turn to in your life? Your working hours are long without a break and that is not right, legally you are entitled to a break (I assume the law is the same everywhere) If this is all getting too much for you maybe you should make an appointment to see your GP to discuss the situation, you must take care of yourself friend, You are not a failure by any means, you are someone who is overworked and stressed. I hope your Halloween went well however you celebrated it. Its not just for children, Even adults can have fun at this time of year. Much Love Lisa. x

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