Yes, I am somehow still alive. haha… i did try to kill myself But for some reason im just to lazy to do it. So instead of tht i just self harming whenever i feel like doing it. What I meant by lazy is its just it doesn’t change anything, both im alive and i die. so yeah basically i just feel the same but slightly better. But I’m still kinda questioning y am i was born if evryone would just gonna brag about having me in their life. Honestly, I really wanna get the heck outta here. It’s just I’m lost. Very lost. My mind is still unstable and I am still hot temper. Thinking about future and stuff worries me and jammed my brain. Well my Parents been bragging 'bout my future. It’s a pain in my butt. I just Don’t know yet! Why are they keep bragging about it?!
Parents and siblings:
Well yeah they are still the same and I understand their concern. Its just Im so tired with them. It’d be good getting a break without them near me. My siblings too, espiacially tht one little bitch who alway peeking on me wether i play games or studying. its hella annoying. Can they understand that i need a lot of space?! I just don’t need them to brag bot money, my attitude and stuff. I get it y they brag about money on me. its like im the one who’ve been using most of their money. Well that’s very shitty. Just a reminder to them in case one day they insist to go into my privacy and this forum, Remember that I barely ask u guys (parents) to buy me stuff. And also do u think its funny to read people diaries without my permission? Espiacially YOU u little brat bitch! (Little sis). And u (parents) brag about money, I understand very much our situation right now. I AM 17! I KNOW THAT. EVERYTHING WENT SO FAST! WHAT U SAYING MAKING FRIENDS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE IS MORE ENJOYABLE?! WELL F THT! That is the worst lie I’ve ever had! Well yeah I’m sorry for making this situation more difficult but I just want u people (my family) to know that I am fine ALONE! I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH STRESS, WORRIES AND MANY NEGATIVE STUFF ALONE! SO IDGAF ABOUT LIVING WITH PEOPLE ANYMORE! The only reason y i write in this forum is because I don’t trust my family. I dont trust any of u guys (family) on helping me. I DID ASK AN ADVICE AND ALL I GOT WAS A “u are too emo” WELL THEN ADIEU! I AM LOOKING FOR HELP BY MYSELF. And I am not coming back home. I’m sorry. Honestly, Does my feeling matter to u??!! (parents). Just in case if they decided to go into this forum.
Not Very Interesting Story:
Friendship. Yeah that word make me sick. Well me and my ‘bestfriend’ were really a good friend. suddenly, he just don’t wanna talk to me. I thought I offended him a lot by bragging about my probs. So I dmed him to say Sorry. He said he just didn’t took initiative to talk to me. SO WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT ACTUALLY MEAN?! One thing for sure is when people have less interested to befriend with me or about to leave me hanging they would say stuff like that. LIKE DO HE NEED SOME SPACE?? Well yeah I get it! So I told him tht I will just f off and I wont bother him anymore. He replied tht it would worry him if i dont bother him and dont leave. LIKE, ok wait I understand whats going on. He just don’t wanna talk to me. Quite answered all my thoughts about y the heck he dont wanna reply to me and just bluetick me. Its like gaslighting me. Well I deserved that. This is what I get for talking too much and too believe in stuff like friendship. But yeah I still apologise to him. I dunno anymore. Trust him no longer. It hurts me D: Its not funny tho. Can somebody tell me what kind of friendship is that? I am still pissed. I just walk away. Well, he don’t need me. He have many friends. Unlike me, I am just hopeless hard headed, ego bitch. dis is fine. Im going back to depression dungeon. honestly, losing a friend is 10 time worst than losing a boyfriend. but losing family and their support is 100 times more thn worst
Well, yeah thts all. I am kinda glad im still alive and not. Nobody is with me when i needed them the most. But its fine…no its not. Thx for reading supporters