My ex and i had a falling out 6 months ago after 5 years of being together. She cheated on me once which resulted in me voluntarily putting myself in a psych ward till i could piece myself together. She cheated on me with one of the meth users/dealers upstairs and left me alone to drown in rum for a full week before i placed myself there. 2.5 years later she breaks up with me on january 1st 2019 after a month of coming home high or really late at night. I tried to make it work but it just wouldnt. I find out a couple months later that shes been seein this guy we met at a party in december and the agony was renewed. We’ve fought throughout these past months over the logistics of our past relationship. I lost my apartment, barely kept my car, and well, my whole world that was her. After all this time and heartache i thought id be able to overcome this and move on but i just cant. I have a few seconds every morning where things are clear and then its back to the same narrative that has plagued my mind.i dont really have any close friends anymore. The ones ive had are more or less acquaintances at this point and dont seem to respond to me. Ive been taking on more responsibility at work, rediscovering my love of hiking and the mountains, and even meditating everyday to try and move forward but i just feel like im spinning my wheels and getting nowhere.
Thank you for being here and sharing this. I am sorry you went through all of that though. That had to be incredibly heartbreaking. It sounds like you are taking time to do things you enjoy and work on using other methods to help yourself move forward which is SO WONDERFUL! It takes such an incredible amount of strength and courage to keep fighting despite all the pain and heartache. I know it may seem like you might be moving in place, but you are actively working towards healing and moving forward and that is most definitely progress! Keep fighting, my friend. You can do this!
I am so sorry you have gone through all of this. It is hard enough to lose someone you love and when you add cheating and drugs to the mix it makes things almost feel unbearable. You are so strong for sharing your story here. I know it hurts, but I can already tell that you are starting to move forward from the pain. By focusing on yourself and spending time doing things you love outdoors you will find joy again. I know it might feel like you might not have a lot of friends to support you, but this community is here for you. We love you and want to support you! You’re always welcome here! Hold fast and keep focusing on moving forward!
Thank you. It just seems that my efforts have been in vain because i still hurt so much and cant seem to move past it no matter what i try. I think I still love her after everything and knowing that it isnt good for me to still be a it just…eats me up inside.