Still struggling

What’s up heart support family! Well I was on here a few weeks ago or so now I guess, and I was talking about these medication struggles, and work life money etc. I went to my dr and she hanged the meds a little but after upping the dose I felt fantastic for about a week. Now I’m miserable. I’m the most depressed and lost I’ve been in a long time. Idk what happened but it’s not great. The downside but upside is I left my old job started my new job, the job is amazing. I’m in a management position now and have more of a normal schedule. Down side is I don’t have any medical insurance until July, and I feel like I’m falling apart. I’ve noticed latley since going to a normal 8-10 hour work day from 14+ hours that when I get home all I want to do is lay in bed and dark the room out, my body is in killer pain. I’m trying to keep my hope up but man right now I’m just feeling really defeated and have no idea where up is at or when it’s coming. I just needed to talk because well I’m pretty alone so I don’t have anyone I can open up to anymore

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Hey @Donavand!

Great to see you! I recorded a reply cuz I wanted to go into a bit more detail. A Message of Support and Encouragement | Loom

Thank you for the video response! That was really cool of you to do. I’ve been wanting to reply all night but my brain is hurt fried I guess. So many thoughts that I haven’t been able to put into words. I for sure will be trying to talk to work and see if they have any help with my insurance. They are incredible so hopefully they just do free therapy sessions or something to that effect. I guess currently I just really want to say how thankful I am for heart support. I started this down hill spiral in 2019 or so. My life fell apart very very fast. And really in a way it hasn’t improved that much yet, but I’m working at it. Some time after February 2019 I found heart support, I don’t even know when. I just know I was listening to Jake on an interview where he talked about it, and I’m a massive august burns red fan so naturally it seemed reliable to check out. Now since then I’ve been on the forum I think 2 years, I love listening to Taylor on the YouTube reacts, I frequent the others socials and try to interact and talk to anyone whenever I can. Life is hard right now. The career change all be good is super hard, my brother is in activate addiction and not got much longer probably, etc etc the list goes on. However hard this change has been I just know I can come be heard here. Right now just being heard. Someone knowing im not ok but trying is just a peaceful feeling today.

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Thank you! I hope they are able to do something. I know some insurances and companies offer an EAP (Employee Assistance Program). Mine for example does 5 free therapy sessions per issue, per year. But your company might be different. If you have a manager that you report to, they may be able to guide you where to go as well, cuz especially when it comes to stuff like this, you want to make it as easy as possible on yourself, not harder :slight_smile:

And I’m so incredibly happy that HS has been able to help at least just a little bit. It’s crazy how one little thing can impact our lives in such a meaningful way, huh? You’ll ALWAYS be heard here, because there’s a bond that we all have. This journey of music (that’s how I found out about HeartSupport because HeartSupport Fest was happening 20 minutes from me and I’m a huge Rise Against fan) but also the journey and the trials of navigating mental health obstacles. We’ve all been down that road at some point, and even as facilators/moderators/staff members, we still make support posts, because we’re all human.

The fact that you’re working at rebuilding your life is just a testament to the person you are and the drive you have. When so many things happen at once, you sometimes don’t know where to begin to pick things up. For me, it was like when we got hit in 2004 by Hurricane Charley. We had extensive damage to both our home and my car. We had holes in our roof, my car was destroyed, we had no utilities, and no matter what preparation you did before hand, you still come out not knowing what to do next. There’s no set way to go about it. It’s all about one step at a time. Knock out that, and the next one will fall into place.

Just remember, life is a marathon, not a sprint. You said it yourself: Your life hasn’t improved much yet. Keyword being: YET. It will come. And we’ll be here supporting you the entire way.