My day was a fight. My life is becoming the endless battle of weither to live or not. I cant control my thoughts or emotions like i used to. When i hit a breaking point I lose it and start hitting myself. Im trying so hard to stop it. But when the thoughts persist I can’t hang on. I just start hitting myself over and over until i regain control. I have bruises on the back of my head from last night… I dont want to keep ending up like this. Today I held on as much as i could but emotion flaired up and i ended up smashing my hand on a counter instead of myself. Its still not moving the same… I need to change this i need to get a hold on this emotion. Before it put me in the hospital. Im trying its…too hard to change…
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Hey there, I am so sorry about what you are feeling. I am very inspired by you. It is obvious you struggle, but still you still take the time to comment in other posts and help out people.
When life gets too unbearable, at least know there is someone somewhere that is rooting for you.
Hi friend. I’m sorry that you are battling through such deep and intense emotions and feelings. Before I was diagnosed with BPD and ASD I used to hit myself too. I would become overwhelmed and just mentally lose myself. I didn’t know how to handle my emotions.
When things are feeling this intense please know that it is okay to reach out for help. Whether you call a crisis hotline, go to the ER, come here to the support wall or whatever it is you need to reach out and feel safe.
For me, I saw a therapist and a psychiatrist and was able to get treatment to help balance out my moods and my anxiety which helped me better control those deep intense emotions and feelings I was going through. Maybe this is something that could be helpful for you.
I no longer have insurance so I have to find healthy ways to learn to control when my emotions are high and difficult to control. It’s hard and not an easy thing to do but we are here for you my friend.
You are so important and valued. I’d hate to see you hurt yourself. Just know you don’t have to go at this alone. Okay?
Be gentle with yourself my friend
- Kitty