Stippling / dying alone

Ever since my close female friend left me, that not only don’t see her, but I been really not hanging out with anyone in general. Every weekend night I’m been eating at restaurants by myself. No one to get drinks with, no one to go to shows with or no one skateboard with. The only person I hang with are my parents, which remind that will never find a girlfriend. The loneliness is fucking killing me man.

I just thinking about offing myself. To revenage that asshole left me, to show what she done to me. I’m still very angry at her, I fucking honestly hate her so much now, I just wish her life would fall apart and I hope she be alone like, maybe she will understand my pain someday. I was such good friend to her, she had no right to leave me. She like other asshole that think she better than me. Screw her.

Then i fell like hypocrite, I’m also leaving friends that care about me. I just don’t want to hang with them anymore, I can’t just hang out in their houses and sit in silence. They don’t want to do anything or just make me depressed about my life. They lecture me about or just I don’t fucking know. I only stay friends with them because I did not want to be alone.

I hate being so alone, I’m going to die alone. I’m been not to hate on people or my close friend. But so fucking alone, I have no friends anymore. Again, I’m sorry sounding so freaking hateful right now, I kept be okay by myself.

I just want to be at peace. To the point where I’m okay by myself. Even die alone I want to find my peace.


You could unload a shit ton of stress through forgiveness of yourself and those you blame for your unhappiness.

You can rage all you want at those who failed to meet your expectations, or accept they aren’t who you thought they were. There’s no point in blaming them for being who they are instead of who you hoped they would be.

The surprising thing is, once a person gets really good at enjoying their own company and being at peace with it, and overall change in confidence and behavior occurs. That’s when others are attracted to that person’s mellow and peaceful presence.

Have you tried listening to relaxing music, or meditating?

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