As I walk the branches and leaves crunch beneath my feet my ears deaf to the outside world. Lost in my own world instead wondering if I’m alone even though I know I’m not. Finally reaching home open the door people are home but I’m alone. dog greats me in a explosive joy spasming in a fit of excitement.walk to my room cat greats me with a meow that seems both sad and happy. sad it will never be the same but happy his mom’s home. He cuddles me as I lay on the bed his fur reminds me of the scruff of his facial hair. his purs remind me of the lazy afternoons in the living room the three of us relaxing and enjoying the soap opera of the squared circle. I’m wanting those days back wanting the false assumption I knew what I was doing or like I had a plan. I accept I just need to focus on me learn to live learn to survive handle the adulting part when I’m ready and able. he taught me enough to know the only way to face a fight is with both legs firm stable and unwavering and my legs are none of those they are weak they are jello they barely carry me through the day let alone through the struggles but slowly I grow even if it feels like I’m shrinking
I see so much growth in this post, and I can see your strength as well! You were taught some great lessons, and we’re all a bit shaky and unsure when we first have to stand on those legs on our own for the first time. I’m proud of you for bravely going through this all, and I’m glad we can be a part of your journey…
this post is so beautiful written. It’s so honest and so I’m depth. That place of knowing that you’re surrounded by people or even pets that love you, but also feeling like it doesn’t quite bring you the joy expected. I have sat there too.
Missing someone is so hard. It’s a pain that can ache for what feels like an eternity, but I do love that you have acknowledged the lessons left behind. That even though right now you may feel weak, you know there will be a time when you’re ready to be strong. For now I do hope you can lean into this community, into your family, into your friends and even your pets. It may not feel like an over happiness, but slowly it starts to feel better.
Thank you for sharing this post with us.
I think if you intended to create an immersive text you’ve definitely nailed it. I am taking a critical literature workshop and those first few lines work wonderfully.
You are missing, and I hope writing about this feeling helps, if anything, to set those words somewhere they won’t overwhelm or confuse you.
It also seems you are aware of the need to keep learning, growing and moving forward. That life, while in a standstill, will call you on. Keep strenghtening your legs. I am sure in time you will see they are more than enough to push through.
I’m glad you liked it honestly I kinda just wrote and broke down a specific moment that happened to me the other day that was really kinda just irking me the wrong way but I am glad some folk enjoy my crappy grammar writings
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