Stress and anxiety

[HumanPerson]

I can’t cope with any amount of stress anymore. Stuff is piling up and nothing gets done while expectations grow.
The one thing I like doing (playing music) is becoming dreadful since my band and I have a time slot in a recording studio and they are rushing to be ready with the new songs. I hate this situation!

I’ve told them I don’t think we have enough time but we’re pressing forward. Meanwhile I’m in school and have to deal with lots of obligations there.
I’m not going to be able to perform because I can’t get myself to practice enough, everything is a chore. I’m going to disappoint everyone.

[j71s8]

Thank you for sharing your story with us! It is such a sign of strength to show us, and such an encouraging thing to see you open up to all of us.

Stress is a very difficult thing to handle, and things tend to pile up really rapidly when a lot is on your plate, especially under deadlines.
I am so glad to hear you have a positive way to express your emotions but sad to hear that while you have a positive way to express your emotions that it is such a difficult time for you.

When I was in college I was in a band and we were doing a lot of practicing at one point. I remember one of our fellow band mates was having a hard time in school and a lot of the band members were pushing them to work harder in the group and to brush off school. I did not agree with that. While that caused tension, we talked about it. There was not disappointment because everybody else knew the value of education and supported each other. When you are going to be extremely close with people for a long period of time, tensions do mount, but you have to take your own personal health, well being, and future into account. If you are unable to meet your school obligations, and are being rushed to make new songs, you may begin to feel more obligated about things which you talk about above.

You say you can’t practice enough and everything is a chore, I can assume that was always that way?
I want to see you happy, fulfilled and enjoying your life, being able to have a good education and being able to have a positive outlook on your music future. There are so many people out there that have similar points of view that you never know who you will meet in the future.

You are not a disappointment for taking time to try to sort through what matters in your life, everybody has their own views of what is right in their life, but a good education seems to be very important, as well as taking time to go over music and taking time in the studio so you are not rushed (or at least time to work through the songs before you get to the studio). Those may be things to discuss with your band mates.

Know that whatever happens, your strength in sharing this post is amazing, you are loved, you matter and you are cared for greatly!

[HumanPerson]

I cant thank you enough for that reply. It got me to go to and not to cancel our last rehersal. Went in there full of anxiety and feeling inadequate but it turned out to be a lot of fun.
We literally have a song about how music is healing for the mind. it’s the flow-state. when everything’s a chore your mind is just too cluttered to get there.

Still I know I need to serioussly step-up my game if I want these recordings to be good. it’s honestly more important to me than school. I just wish I was more efficient with my time, that would make it all easier.

[j71s8]

You are welcome, I am so glad to hear you went to your practice!

I know the feeling of anxiety and inadequacy very well! I think a song about the positivity and wellbeing that music brings is awesome! Music is a very vital part of life near and dear to many people in the world and is historically rooted in almost every society’s beginning times. What an awesome thing to have a passion for!

Casey has an awesome twitch video workshop on time management and how to work on better scheduling time out. I have a link below. There are also some awesome videos of his on twitch about goals
Here they are for ya

Time Management Workshop - Self-Care Meets Block Scheduling

Workshop Clip - How to Make Your Goals Easy and Automatic

Workshop Hilight - Healthy Goals Can Still Fail

A bit more history if this helps you relate to me: I was the rhythm guitar/harmony vocals in the band i was in and i play 12 string which I always felt inadequate about because the lead of the band was known for his guitar abilities, his charming characteristics, his commanding presence, his voice, as well as his general demeanor. It was never meant to feel that way, but it became very hard for me to get out of that head space sometimes.
There are many ways i was in a different place then than i am now. I was in a christian band which put a lot of pressure on us to have to always act a specific way, be a specific way, and generally have a life that looked perfect from the outside. Well it was anything but for myself with depression. It made it difficult because i put so many unrealistic expectations on myself. It was a very hard struggle for myself being in a band when i was in school myself i never realized i had 2 passions going at once and i couldn’t fully dedicate myself to either.
I found i needed to get an education to be sure I was able to support myself through life and through the cash shortages, as well as the more important understanding of the world around me so as to know how to write better music. You never become a better musician without learning music, math, literature, and history too.

We have to give ourselves grace, mercy, hope, and understanding as we grow through our entire lives no matter where we are because we are changing every day. So one day might be less anxious, one may be more. But you are so strong to go in through these feelings, great job! I wish I would have done that some of those days, but other days when i did, i was just a body and i wish I would have done more to participate myself. So i encourage you to keep participating, keep going, and keep telling yourself you are worthy of the positive things that you are worthy of.

We are here for you!

You’re loved, you matter, and you’re cared for greatly!