Stressed and Exhausted

so stressed that i have developed an eye twitch. my grandpa died yesterday and now my dad is using it as an excuse to smoke inside and drink. realized how unhappy i am when i was walking to the gym and have been having suicidal thoughts ( i don;t have a plan and dont intend to). ive been exhausted all the time no matter how much sleep i get. i dont have anyone to talk to that actually cares. i try to talk to my boyfriend but he thinks im just complaining and my dad doesnt take me seriously and says the same thing. i am overweight and i try not to be aware of it, so i have recently been trying to feel good about myself by wearing crop tops. my boyfriend made fun of it by saying it was a kids shirt and i got self concious when he was whispering to my friend and when peopple at the mall were laughing. i have always been self concious and have social anxiety which is why i rarely go outside. i just feel awful


I’m sorry you have to endure such unhappy circumstances. It’s wonderful that you spend time in the gym. Aerobic exercise clears the mind, and helps with depression. Apparently that isn’t enough for the amount of depression you’re dealing with. The exhaustion is also a symptom of depression. Your dad and boyfriend are both insensitive. That’s a character weakness on their part. They should be far more embarrassed about that than you should be for wearing what you want.

Awareness isn’t the issue. Self-acceptance is. You are a good person just as you are. Regardless of the clothes you wear, you’re still a good person. You can feel good about yourself, regardless of your size. You are infinitely more likely to sculpt your body into the shape you want if accept and nurture yourself. Your boyfriend should help with that, but he’s not sufficiently grown up to do that. Actually the same is true for your dad. Some people age without growing into an adult level of wisdom. It seems to happen more often with guys.

I had weight issues my whole life until about 15 years ago when I quit junk food and meat. I ended up feeling a lot better. That helped me to exercise more. I lost 100 lbs, and haven’t gained any of it back.

Regardless of how you adjust your diet, do it gradually, like a spoonful or it’s equivalent every several days. Your body will get used to the change, and you won’t feel as though you’re missing anything. I didn’t talk to anyone about losing weight. Eventually my weight loss became obvious, but even then I had little to say about it. When people start to change, it often makes those around them nervous in a way they may not recognize. Then they may say things that make sustaining positive change difficult. My first attempt to quit smoking failed because I told people I was doing it. They kept bringing it up to me, which triggered my craving for a smoke. Some of them told tales of their own failures to quit. The next time I quit, I told no one. It took several days before anyone noticed, and by then I had already started having confidence that I could continue not smoking.

There are those who believe that by announcing a positive change, others will hold you accountable, and that will reinforce your commitment, and fear of embarrassment will cause you to adhere to your plan. That has never worked for me. It’s as though the pressure from others can make you feel forced to do something, instead of doing it because you want to. Feeling forced tends to trigger resistance, and in this case you’re resisting positive change.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. I hope that at least they were entertaining and possibly helpful.

Stay in touch. If you can’t talk to those around you, you can talk to us.


Hey foobie, proud of you for reaching out here! Just checking in on you.


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