Stressed and not sure what to do

[for more background on my situation, check here: ]

but in short, my ex is living with her mother now after two trips to the hospital since she is suicidal, and our roommate and I have moved out the apartment we both used to share. we all need to end the lease early so the apartment offices can find people to fill in our old place. we just need her to sign and email a notice to vacate and we can all stop paying rent. our old roommate is paying double rent now.
i am the only one that can contact my ex anymore because she has alienated about everyone else who has tried to talk to her and help her, including her sister and our mutual friend, who both said that trying to help my ex while she wasn’t listening/accepting help for a long time was affecting their own well-being and lives.
i did try to just tell her to sign the notice but she just says “if that’s the case then you should have let me die a month ago” and asks why is she forced to be alive.
i don’t know what to say or do anymore.



Hi solace, I’m sorry you’re dealing with so much. One way you can get her to sign your notice is to inform her that after you and your old roommate break lease, her name will still be on the lease and she will be responsible for paying rent. This could lead to some legal stuff she doesn’t want. You could also talk to the mom and perhaps have her help you get it signed. Hope everything works out ok. ~Mystrose


Hello there Solace,

Sometimes in life, you will never have the RIGHT words to say to someone…you just need to be honest & kind in what you say to someone, especially in these types of situations. It can be difficult, but I believe you can do it. Maybe see if her mom can help out in this situation. Maybe see what you can do in your state in these situations. Maybe your apartment complex can help you out. I am proud of you for seeking for help & support in this situation.

You are important. You are valid. You matter. :yellow_heart:


From: twixremix

hey solace!

i’m so sorry that you’re under this amount of stress and mental anguish. your ex shouldn’t be guilting you into letting her not sign the notice… i wish with everything i got that she finds the help she needs so she feels more at peace and also no longer speaks that way to you. are you able to explain the situation to the leasing office and maybe they can reach out to your ex? with the emotional toll this has put on everyone involved, the last thing y’all need to worry about is splitting rent equally which is why i hope a third party like the leasing office can step in. to be paying double the rent on top of it all is heartbreaking… please keep us updated on how things progress. in the meantime, please know you, your ex, your partner, and roommate all have the love and support of your heartsupport community behind y’all. you’ve been placed in such a difficult position… but i know that you’ll make it out to the other side soon enough. wishing you well, my friend.



From: Taladien

Hey Solace,

I am sorry to hear you’re going through this headache. It’s never fun to have roommate disagreements, especially if there are past relationships involved. I am curious, do you have a speaking relationship with your ex’s mother? Can you try to explain all of this to her, and see if she can get your ex to sign when she’s having a good day? Just a thought. Also, can you ask the company to help you a bit more in options?

In any note, I hope very much that you can resolve this quickly, and have one less stressful thing on your mind. This is a difficult situation all around, and we understand that. Her words about a month ago are not fair - to her, or to you. Please don’t take those to heart. You matter, and you are important. :hrtlegolove:


Hi @solace,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through these difficulties. It’s horrible that your ex is trying to leverage her suicidal thoughts to hurt you and I’m sorry that it is so difficult to get her to sign the document.

I’m not qualified to give much advice in this regard, but I am confident that you will find a route through this. One route that I’ve tried in the past with a similar legal issue is contacting the person in question’s parents (if you are on good terms with them) and then try to get the parents to help convince your ex to sign the document.

That said, there obviously are no easy solutions and I am wishing you all the best as you go navigate these challenging times. You are loved and valued, and I hope that things start to improve soon.



Thanks for the well wishes.
Update: she has not moved her stuff out of the apartment actually, her sister just got her out of the apartment because she was still suicidal but couldn’t get her back in the hospital, her stuff is still there so she’s responsible. her sister is trying to remove herself from the situation. her mother is old and doesn’t speak much English. i asked my ex if she intended to come back to the apartment or not but i don’t know if i will get a response. probably have to contact her again. my roommate does not want to pay unless she is forced to, and suggests i do the same. i’ll try to contact the office tomorrow. shouldn’t forge anything

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