So my grandpas memorial is this week and I’m not too excited about it. It’s also out of town and I can’t find anyone to watch my dog. All my bills are due this week so I can’t afford a kennel for 3 days. My job just got cut back to 30 hrs a week again. I’m just feeling really stressed. I feel like I can’t catch a break no matter what I do. I’ve also been really bummed about being alone for going on 8 months now. I keep getting stood up or ghosted by everyone I talk to. I feel like the plague at this point. I’ll be 29 in 2 months and all my friends are married and most of them have kids in school. I just want a family of my own. My family was broken, divorced parents and both thier parents were divorced too. I’ve never felt like I had a real family of my own. So many people my age complain about their wives or kids and I would kill to have what they have. I’d love to come home to a wife making dinner and my kids running around chasing my dog. I just feel like im never going to have any of that.
I’m sorry for your loss as well as your financial difficulties. I also wish that you were not lonely.
Very often people find it difficult to be around someone who is depressed. Sadly, many friends are ill-equipped to be emotionally available at a time when such friendship is needed. Beyond that, when breakups occur, friends may avoid contact for fear of being perceived as “taking sides.” Another quirk of human nature is a tendency to think of a person as being whoever they were emotionally when last seen. So a person goes from being “my friend” to being “my sad friend.” As I mentioned earlier, people often find it hard to be around sadness.
The bottom line is, it’s not your fault. If your “happy” friends were to endure circumstances similar to yours, it’s likely they would also feel stood up or ghosted.
My family was a massive train wreck too. I went through a few failed relationships, and didn’t find myself in a good one until I was in my 40s. Don’t give up!
Are you “out there?” In other words, do you place yourself in circumstances in which meeting someone is possible? I know it’s not easy. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to try and meet someone at a bar. All except my last relationship originated in some way associated with work. I met my wife at a reiki gathering 30 years ago.
I had dogs to chase regardless of my relationship status. Just a thought.
Stay in touch.
Hey friend,
@Wings nails it in his reply.
What I will add, though, is my personal experience with all of this. I’m 31.
I got a divorce when I was 29 and it honestly wrecked my life (infidelity, betrayal, etc.). I bring this up first because it’s direly important to find someone that you genuinely can get along with. someone that you are first friends with and can endure a certain level of BS from one another. A HUGE part of that is not being desperate when you’re putting yourself in circumstances that opens you up to meeting people. When you’re desperate, which it honestly sound like you are (no judgement, because I’ve been there since my divorce), you present yourself in two ways - 1. Women pick this up and don’t find it attractive. 2. the women that do fall for this are normally manipulative and will bring temporary bliss, but long term turmoil…my ex… lol.
That said, the best thing that you can do is to work on yourself. Get all your things handled, to the bet of your ability, work out, do the things that you like to do because YOU like to do it, become an independent person through these things. Doing this will inherently make you an attractive person that people are magnetized to…giving you options.
Lastly, everyone is on their own timeline. It’s easy to look at other people’s lives and think how amazing it i that X person has X thing. The grass is always greener. You may have some friends that have their own family’s that look at you and wish they were single, doing their own thing. Overall - just focus on being the best you that you can. Get yourself in the spot where if a girl that is attracted to you doesn’t meet YOUR expectations, you can tell her no and move on to someone else. Start a family with the person YOU want and grow from there.
Keep in there my friend!