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Stressing over a dumb text message

On Friday I sent out a message this girl, I have a huge crush on. About 4 years ago, i was on tinder and we met up to play mini golf, we talk in deep conversation and then we went to dinner. We talk a lot more at dinner. But after that we did not hang out after, we not really message and nothing happen. I did ask her to hang out a couple , but nothing bunch.

Lately this year, I see her at my boxing gym and still say hi to each other. So I message her ( like I said) she did not respond. It was topic we talk at dinner 4 years ago. So I don’t she would remember or I would remember what we talk about. So I feel dumb senting it.

I’m terrible at message or talking to women. It get me really depressed, it bring my dark thoughts. I honestly want to say that she like me and that I’m cool person. But I will never get that answer. I wish just hang out with her and at least be her friend.


hey @Metalskater1990 !

i’m proud of you for taking such a huge step of initiating the contact after 4 years with that text. that truly shows how good of a heart you have to not only remember something y’all talked about years ago but to reach out to her.

please don’t worry too much about taking things personally if there isn’t a response right away or if at all. she has her own reasons for the delayed response but none of those reasons include wanting you to feel upset or hurt.

you got this, my friend.


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Hey @Metalskater1990,

It makes totally sense to be stressed and second-guess yourself when you really want a relationship to work. However, you’re really not dumb for sending this message and mentioning the things you discussed four years ago. That’s actually really nice to still remember it! It shows that spending that time with her mattered to you, and so the conversations you had as well. This shows nothing else but a caring heart right there, which is a wonderful quality. :slight_smile:

As for the fact that she would respond or not, or eventually not as soon as you expect, try not to overthink too much (easier said that done, I know). As @twixremix said, there can be many different reasons for someone to not respond to a message, reasons that are not tied to us and who we are. On your end, the very fact that you’re trying to initiate a connection again despite the doubts, fears, and things you might think about yourself, displays a lot of courage. Our insecurities can be overwhelming, but they don’t have to rule our life either. That’s the win you’re also going to take with you just for the very action of trying. And that’s something to be proud of and celebrate.

Hold Fast. :hrtlegolove: