Strugglin

From the moment i wake up in the morning, until i fall asleep my mind wants to die.
it’s there constantly and has been for a couple years. it’s really hard special during weekends, because then everyone else is out there having fun. while i am stuck with my pain. i don’t know what to do anymore soon. it’s just there and it won’t go away… ive tried so many diffrent things to make it stop but it wont stop. it’s been getting worse the last 4 months. anyone got something that could help? ive tried doctors and someone to talk too… friends… family… im strugglin but it’s still there the mind that wants to die… just tierd of living i guess…

i really don’t got any particular problems at all… my life should be happy and great… but instead it’s a big lie a bubble that broke… long time ago… killing me slowly from the inside… not sickness or anything just the thoughts of is today the day? what time will it happend? should i do it now? etc… im very … very broken and it will not stop…

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I’m sorry that you’re struggling so much. What you are describing sounds very much like chronic depression. So you’ve tried doctors and someone to talk to, but how much time did you give it to work? Chronic depression often needs both medication and counseling, in order to make progress.

You are not broken. You just need to figure out how to deal with this mood issue. There is definitely a solution, but it may take a sustained effort to find it. Of course making such an effort is difficult when you’re depressed. Ask someone to help you find the help that you need.

Perhaps your mind does not want to die. Maybe it’s discouraged because it wants to become interested in something new. Perhaps your mind is a bit overwhelmed by what is expected of you, or what you expect of yourself.

There is a ton of stuff to think and talk about that can be alternatives to living in such a low mood.

Hey @gone4ever,

I’m so very sorry that you have been struggling with these thoughts for a long time. I know how it can be overwhelming and draining to wake up everyday with the same fears and questions in mind. I hope you know that you’re not weird, broken nor alone because of these. It may be difficult to understand why it’s here at the moment, but still these thoughts are not here by mistake, and it would be good for you to be helped by someone to understand why it’s there. I really want to second what Wings said and encourage you to try again with a doctor, but also with a therapist if that’s something you could consider. A first step while we struggle with these thoughts is to make sure that we don’t stay alone with it. A therapist can provide you a safe place to talk, but also ways to reflect on how you feel, how to navigate these emotions, and to understand what brought you to struggle right now. You might have been strong on your own for too long. It is okay to ask for help again, and give it the time needed to be effective.

You are not alone. This community is willing to support you through this, and encourage you to take the steps that are needed to receive help and build your support system. Handling these thoughts and working on it will require time, patience and external help. But it is possible to recover from it. You are not made to stay stuck and alone with it. You are loved dearly and you are needed in this world. :hrtlegolove:

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thanks for the feedback :slight_smile: ive tried the doctors too i forgot to mention that… they all say the same…
might be just bad doctors too for all i know but i can’t get rid of the feelings or the thoughts that folows… i am alone i always am unfortunately :confused: everyone has left me (not rlly), but it feels like it… i am giving it time… time to get worse i guess… these last couple days has been totally mindblown of how lonely my life really is tho… no one to talk to anymore just in here to find something maybe :slight_smile: it’s gona be either better or worse time will tell meanwhile ill just stick through it. hope to see something from ya soon :slight_smile:

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It’ll get both better and worse, as circumstances inevitably change over time. Sometimes it’s like being alone in a storm, but then it passes, and one can go out in the sunlight and discover new things, and perhaps make new friends.

There is an answer waiting for you. I can’t say what or where it is, but I think it’s inevitable that you will find it.

If there’s no one to talk to, talk to us.

i am hoping to find that asnwer… it’s very hard to live with these feelings or this type of depression

i don’t think straight, my mind is in a broken bubble… i need someone to talk to i know that is very hard for me to find… someone to talk too. because ive talked to some people about my problems and i hear them again from people i do not know… breaks me down even more

so i am searching and searching
this video is a little inspiration for me

if u dont wana copy paste its as easy as: WORK FOR YOUR DREAMS - Powerful Study Motivation

it got me some answers,in here is also answers but i kinda know what my problem is. i just need someone to talk to about it so i can get better. this i hard for me.
ill make a progress topic when im getting that far but the last few days has been hard. today i think the worst… because of the bad toughts and wonders i had:
‘‘would anyone care?, like really care if i just went away? probably not… my depression is just making it worse anyways’’

i get that sentence in my head often. i try to avoid it. it just pops up from nowhere…

im glad there is places like this online where i can just write and get some sort of response to people i do not know :slight_smile:

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