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Struggling a lot with life issues


#1

Gosh I don’t even know where to begin. So everything has been really hard for me lately, ive always had anxiety issues probably since i was 4 or 5 but ive also been struggling with depression for about a year now and its getting worse, i had been in online school about two years but this year i started public highschool. And it definetly has not been easy. I only had 2 friends in the school and they both pretty much ignore me and we really arent friends anymore although luckily i made a new friend so i have just about one friend but it feels so lonely. Im constaintly trying to keep myself together and not have anxiety attacks in school amd if i do im trying to hide it and its so hard being depressed and infront of people for nearly 8 hours a day plus time outside of school it’s just killing me. So because of school my mental health has completely gotten worse basically. And i mean it worries me ive gotten to the point of being so depressed i just dont want to eat. I mean yes of course i still do but i have been skipping meals and stuff. Just constantly feeling so heavy and i will get really anxious and it goes from clawing at my arm to just throwing up its so bad to be struggling with both. A few weekends ago my parents actually did walk in on me having a super bad anxiety attack at about one in the morning and we had a disscussuon so i had hope maybe i could get some help and start therapy or something but instead i kind of got mocked and it got dusted under the rug. They where nice at first but it just didnt end well and im too scared to try to ask more for help again but i really feel like i need therapy or something. I barely have anywhere to turn to.


#2

@cs15,

I am sorry you are going through all this. It is hard starting a new school, and then to not be able to really make friends, that is difficult. It was brave of you to talk to your parents about your anxiety. You shared with them your struggle. Yet, your vulnerability didn’t lead to any sort of resolution. I am sorry your parents weren’t more of a help. Especially when they should be the ones to point you in the right direction. Could you possibly go to a school counselor and share with them what you are going through? Maybe they could help you find a therapist.

We are here for you. Don’t give up hope.


#3

Hi there,
Never stop seeking the help you need. I’m sorry your parents didn’t take the situation well. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone other than your parents, such as a counselor or a teacher or pastor or just someone you can trust. The heart support websites got some pretty good resources too! Some for free!
I had some pretty bad anxiety this past year, i felt and continue to feel it decrease when i pray and trust God. It was hard, and still is sometimes, but as time continues, it’s worth it. He sees you friend and He wants to help. When i had/have nowhere to turn to, God’s always right there.
Hes there for you and so are we :slight_smile:
praying for you friend.
Hold fast.


#4

Thank you so so much it really is difficult. I guess there is other family stresses going on so my parents probably dont want more problems to deal with and i don’t really wanna annoy them with my issues anyway but- and i actually already have gotten sent to the counselor at school once this year she wasnt very helpful and it scared me more to talk to her. I think it’s just because i really dont feel safe or comfortable at school. I have however talked to a few adult leaders at church before. It didn’t do much but at least i am trying to reach out. I just hope eventually things clear up…


#5

I’m trying to just hang on and trust God through all of this. It just feels impossible sometimes but im trying


#6

Hi friend, thanks for reaching out.

I had similar issues when I started high school: no friends, no fun. What I learned however, is that you don’t need a lot of friends to enjoy high school! The best advice I could give is: GET INVOLVED. Do extra activities, do sports, do anything you could be interested in. And don’t be afraid to hang out by yourself. I did all the time and ended up making more friends than I could ever imagine.

Trying all these new experiences will also help a lot with your anxiety: I’ve had similar issues and I don’t even remember the last time I threw up because of that.

Enjoy your stay and have a good time! Love you


#7

I’m so sorry that your parents reacted that way. Perhaps that big change triggered your anxiety a bit. I have lived with depression and anxiety since I was a kid and I understand how draining it can be. I know that when there is a big change, I get incredibly anxious and it can take time to adjust. One thing that helps is breathing and Yoga exercises. Just doing that for a few minutes helps a lot. You could try that or try some coping mechanisms that work for you such as focusing one or two things that really make you happy like an activity you enjoy or a favorite book. Don’t stop asking for help. Keep having that conversation and asking for help with your parents or talk to someone you trust like a teacher or counselor, because your mental health is important and you are important. You are not alone. So much love to you.


#8

I know exactly how it feels to be lonely in a crowd of your peers. I was bullied a lot in school, which caused me to withdraw into my own little world. I pushed so many people away for fear of further torture, that I never realized that there were more people rooting for me than who were bullying me.

One good thing about communities like this, is that you’re never alone. It takes strength, not weakness, to reach out and ask for help. The aid of others does not diminish the scope of one’s achievements. We’re here for ya!


#9

CS15,

I was in your exact shoes nearly 10 years ago almost. When going to my parents, I was told that as a teenager I was just “hormonal”

Please know that youre not alone and that it WILL get better, even in time.

We love you friend.


#10

Hey there @cs15,

I can relate to the feeling of being betrayed by your parents in your moment of personal anguish. In my senior year of high school, my parents had an unhappy marriage that affected my daily life with school & living at home, and I wasn’t able to figure out who I should trust. 7 years later, I realized it was my mother who has been unconditionally supportive of me. My point being, It’s truly heartbreaking to know your mother & father shrugged off your despair with a grain of salt.

I agree with Mothergamer’s suggestion- absorb yourself into an activity that can keep your mind away from the worries, even just for a little while. If you find any relief in it, cherish it. It can go a long way in providing a coping mechanism for you to become comfortable in pushing to continue the conversation. Start pushing until your parents realize that you’re absolutely not joking.

There is also the fact that there is nothing to fear in being physically alone. However, you never have to feel like you’re emotionally alone. That’s simply because you’re never alone in your struggle. We’re here for you with nothing but support, patience, understanding, and love.

Wishing all the best for you, CS15.


#11

cs15,

So sorry that went downhill with your parents…it felt like it could have been this super hopeful, helpful thing to have them see you at your worst, but to have it feel like another rejection felt like slamming a door shut that you were hoping was leading to a way out…super discouraging and weighty…you want to knock on that door again and see if they’ll help you up and out, but you’re afraid to get slammed out again, only to have your hope smashed even smaller.

On top of the fact that it feels like the majority of your day is a reminder of that same kind of loneliness and sadness…like every person’s happiness and friendship is a reminder of what you don’t have and of the problems you’re facing…spending SO MUCH TIME being around that feels like constant “failure, failure, failure, lonely, reject” flashing around you all day…it makes you just want to shell up and close the door and stay where it’s safe…

I did that for most of my high school experience too…I had “friends” but was always afraid I was one mistake away from proving myself a total idiot, so I spent all day pretending I had it together, being nice to all these people, but deep inside, being desperately afraid that at the end of the day I would become what I always feared would be true: totally and completely alone. I remember scrolling through my phone book and feeling like there were a lot of names but not a single one that gave a rip that I couldn’t understand the point of living anymore.

So even though my story is somewhat different, I feel like we’ve felt things that are similar. In that aspect, man, you’re certainly not alone. And I’m proud of you for finding a way to express yourself and talk about these feelings. The door is not shut, and hope is not sealed off from you. You have a courageous heart. You are hungry for healing. You are compassionate and kind and worthy of relationship and friendship…I know that this might feel like too much, but I believe you have what it takes, and that everything’s going to be okay. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, and I know that you’re steering in the right direction. Don’t be afraid to follow your heart – or rather, be willing to take a risk to follow your heart, because your heart is good, and it seems like you have the right answers in there, you just need to be reassured that you can do this…so, friend, I believe in you.

-Nate


#12

Thank you so , so much:( <3