From andy23376: I just need to be vulnerable for a sec.
Some days I just really feel like crap. Today is one of those days- I cried a whole bunch today leaving me mentally exhausted and extremely stressed out. I hate that I’m often looked at as the lazy one bc there’s always something I am forgetting to do. Today I misplaced something and was screamed at for it.
On days like this I really want to just run away. Bc I really feel like things will never get better. It’s hard and I hate it. I don’t like feeling this way. Then I was told I am stress eating…if I am- I wonder why- I am constantly getting screamed at over every little thing I do wrong and if I’m not doing anything at all I’m lazy. If I tell someone I can’t afford to buy them anything I’m called selfish and self centered. I’m just tired of constantly being surrounded by toxic people. I just want to feel accepted for who I am and not have my support needs be a burden to people and to be respected when I say no. I’m starting to feel like I’ll never get that and it’s just very lonely when people don’t understand-
From supernova9122: Thank you for reaching out. I hear you.
It’s okay to forget things, and it’s certainly okay not to be okay.
I’m proud that you can recognize that some of the people around you are toxic. That alone can take a lot and you’re doing awesome, wherever you are on your way to getting through this. Which you can do! The days feel really, really long now but I promise there are people that love you and want to help you (including those on this server). It will get better.
What kind of conversations have you had with the people in your life that are being toxic with you? Have you let them know how you’re feeling (if you feel safe doing so)?
From andy23376: I used to but I stopped communicating my feelings altogether when I wasn’t being validated.
It’s so hard to express how I’m feeling anymore bc whenever I do it goes to the wrong people- and I get told I’m just “crying for attention”
From supernova9122: Ok. Perhaps there’s another support system you could look to, such as one at your school?
It sounds really disappointing not to feel validated. I’m sure that can feel like that’s a major setback for your mental health and I want you to know there are people here to support you too.
I’m so very sorry that you’ve been experiencing this depth of loneliness lately. It’s good that you are using this space right here to express yourself safely. What you share is not a burden or a bother, and you are in your absolute right by sharing how you’ve been feeling.
The needs you have expressed in your post are definitely not too much to ask. On the contrary, it could be seen as an invitation to grow alngside you and for people to care for you. You are absolutely not lazy and don’t deserved to be screamed at or somehow humiliated when you make mistakes. It makes ocmpletely sense to feel stuck and hate this situation overall – you have your own inner life and it keeps being met by walls of judgment and rejection, while it should be met with compassion and care. It makes sense to feel hurt, to feel like your own sense of freedom is reduced, to feel tired of walking on eggshells.
Unfortunately some people - even family or the ones who are supposed to be the closest to us -, are not always the ones who want the best for us, or they don’t know how to communicate in a healthy way when it comes to our emotions. I know it hurts like hell to be constantly invalidated by people you expect to be more kind and understanding. At some point, you may ask yourself if you are not the problem, but that is truly not the case.
Through all of this, I want to encourage you to always keep in mind that you are fully accepted right here in this community. If you ever feel stuck or like you don’t have any space to breathe, any space where you would fully belong, know that you do right here. Always. We love you very much in this community.
From andy23376: Thx micro I appreciate it
I’m so glad you reached out to share your feelings, and I want you to know that your vulnerability is both brave and appreciated. It’s completely normal to have days when everything feels overwhelming, and emotions are running high. It’s important to remember that your worth is not defined by others’ judgments.
You are not lazy; you are a resilient person dealing with a lot. Misplacing something or making mistakes is part of being human, and it’s not a reflection of your character. Please don’t be too hard on yourself.
It’s also heart-wrenching to hear that you’re surrounded by toxic people. You deserve to be in an environment where your support needs are respected and where you are loved for who you are. Setting boundaries and saying no when necessary is not selfish—it’s an act of self-care.
You are not alone in this journey. There are people who will understand and support you. It may take time to find your tribe, but please don’t lose hope. You are deserving of acceptance, respect, and love. Keep reaching out, seeking the support you need, and remember that brighter days are ahead.