I don’t understand why I get so depressed and in a bad place sometimes when people I really care about just leave me… I just want to be normal. I want to be okay with people leaving me and moving onto the next one but I can’t. It hurts.
In my humble opinion, feeling depressed when people leave you is a very normal reaction. I’m pretty sure a lot of people can relate to that, and I include myself in it. You’re not weird for struggling in this situation. Your feelings are absolutely valid. It’s objectively hard to love and care about someone yet seeing them leaving you. It’s a loss in your life. It’s about someone you miss and learning how to recreate a sense of safety despite the hurt. It’s an important change in your life, and you’re not necessarily prepared to face this kind of situation, just because each relationship is unique. You never meet the same person.
As said before, this is something relatable to me. I’ve known people I dearly care about who left me. Sometimes because time goes on and we lost sight of each other, sometimes without any reason, which leads me to have wrong conclusions about myself. It’s hard for me to trust someone, and when I do I’ll do my best to be as honest and loyal possible, because it’s what I value in relationships. So even if it’s certainly not perfect at all, it hurts when someone leave for one reason or another. Through the years I learned to accept that this is part of life too. Relationships come and go. And that’s okay. Knowing this helps to handle attachment differently. And going through different seasons with others doesn’t erase the possbillity to keep doing life with people who are important to you.
Reason why I’m sharing this is: you’re not alone, friend. How you feel is okay, even though I’m sorry you’re hurting right now. Something that can help when you have to face this kind of change in your life is to share your thoughts with a counselor. Especially if you feel like it’s getting overwhelming to you. A counselor can help you manage those feelings in a healthy way and provide you specific tools or tips. Learning to let go of someone, also to move on can require external help sometimes. And that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re only human. And I don’t know how you feel about yourself in regards of this situation precisely, but I want to remind you that you are loved. The fact that someone left you doesn’t change that.
If you want to discuss about what happened, feel free to do it here. We - as a community - are willing to listen and encourage you as we can through this season of your life.