im 19 years old, never had a girlfriend, i worry and stress everyday, i have depression ,anxiety, ptsd, and i think i have bipolar. Been verbally abused by my parents all my life, i have no life, feels like im going nowhere. People just say change it , its easy moving out, do this do that. It feels like im never moving out, im poor. I have bad anxiety when i go out, i feel like i have no life, i feel hopeless everyday, worrying, feels like im going nowhere, i feel alone, hopeless, helpless, a loser no life. I question why im here everyday, i feel like i have no purpose, and im just a waste of space and time. I feel like my struggles dont matter, i feel like a useless bitch whos complaining. People say no one can change your life, but you, that saying alone makes me feel worse and hopless, i dont do anything, dont know anything. Dont really go out, i have no life. I worry about alot of things like how to buy a ticket to an event, how to move out, how to apply for things, I legit dont know anything. Im useless and stupid. Some days im confident, most days i feel like dieing. I feel stuck and just want to die. im Useless and stupid, I hate when people say move out, do this, do that , when its a struggle.
Just take it one day at a time. You won’t get better over night I hope thinks get better for you because you matter .
First off, I want to say I don’t think you’re useless and stupid. I suspect those are just words that people (your parents?) use to describe you. I felt like my “struggles didn’t matter” either, since I’m just going through stuff that lots of people deal with successfully; the thing is, we don’t have to deal with it alone. “No one can change your life but you,” do you know what that saying actually means? It means that no one can help you change if you aren’t reading & willing, not that everyone has to go down the road of self-improvement alone. I read your post and I feel like you’re ready to change, and I really wish you the best in making close friends who you can go out with and talk to when you’re feeling down. I can tell you what steps worked for me if you’re interested.
I’m 27 and I’ve never had a girlfriend. It sucks, doesn’t it?
Man, this is sooooooooooooo relatable. I literally had a “I suck at everything” conversation with my wife this morning. I hope you know you’re not alone.
I know these things come in waves – kind of like you mentioned, some days you’re confident and others you feel like you’re at the lowest valley and don’t think you have it in you to climb out.
In that sense, life can be a real struggle, a real battle…for you to feel like today is worth living through…like you matter enough to keep going…like your life has any hope or purpose at all. And still yet other days you feel on top of the mountain, screaming about how awesome life is!
It’s all a rollercoaster, man, and I think that’s part of life. My only advice when you’re in that valley is to reach out. When I hit the bottom, I can’t fix myself by myself…I just spiral and things get worse and worse. I have to reach out because I can’t out-think my own excuses and bullshit…I need other people, I need to air my thoughts to someone else, and I need their help working back to the truth. Working back to a place of hope, of confidence, of “I can do this, I am worth doing this”. You are too. We’re in this together.
Thanks today for reaching out. (or back when you did )
I’m so sorry to hear that life is really difficult right now, but I promise that it gets better! The very first step is to change what you’re telling yourself. You’re not useless and stupid. If you would never call someone else names then don’t call yourself names; be kind to yourself! Next, start implementing positive self-talk, even if it sounds silly at first. “I can do this, I will do this, I am worth it, I am worth fighting for.” Put sticky notes next to your bedroom door, so on the way out you’ll see positive notes like, “Have a good day!” or “You got this!”
The future comes in seasons; seasons frequently change, just like life-events. You might be in a valley right now but a mountain (a new season) could be just right around the corner. Same applies with a significant other. In other words, you might be single today but she could just be waiting around the corner. This actually happened to me this year: single and looking, and then out of no where this girl appeared in my world. Same could happen to you!
In the meantime, if you haven’t already, pick up some healthy habits like eating healthy, exercising and going to bed on time. You’re strong and we believe in you!
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