Struggling to Control my thoughts

Dear heart support ,

Lately I’ve been in my head a lot dealing with past thoughts :thought_balloon: I don’t like to have these thoughts. But sometimes I feel like I can’t control them. It’s been a battle and struggle over these last 6 years. It all started in 2015 and has been ever since. I’ve been having a little panic attack whenever I have those thoughts and feel like I can’t control them sometimes. I get all nervous, I shake , I break down and sometimes cry when I can’t control it. I think I might be having a lot of anxiety when I panic. My mind goes all over the place when I start to freak myself out when I feel like I can’t control the thoughts.

I see a therapist at my college and being at college really helps me get out of my head. When I’m with my friends or just around people. But now that I’m back home for the summer. It always gets worse because I’m not around a lot of people and I don’t have any friends where I live back home. So I’m alone most of the time. But my family is always home. I don’t like talking to them about it at all. Cuz I don’t want them to worry about it.

I have also had some really lonely nights being back home. Because I recently when through a break up and not having my friends to talk to late at night is difficult.

Any tips on how to get out of my head and gain control over your thoughts?

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Welcome to Heart Support! Always here to talk. But what I find helps is getting into a hobby or just finding things to do to keep your mind occupied

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Coming from someone with a history of anxiety -

It’s often times worse to think you must control something rather than admit you don’t have control.

Anxiety a lot of times stems from control, or rather lack thereof. A good example of this might be when you are sitting alone by yourself and you feel the thoughts coming. You spend so much time and energy worrying and anticipating those thoughts that you end up making your own anxiety worse.

I have also found that anticipation is very bad for anxiety. Assuming something bad is going to happen, assuming you will fail, assuming how someone will respond to something, etc. None of these thoughts are pleasant of course, and when you think about it, you don’t really know.

How many time have you thought to yourself, this is so awful, its going to end terribly or this person is going to be so mad? But when you took a deep breath and did the thing anyway, it ended completely different than you imagined or that person wasn’t mad at all?

I suppose what I’m trying to say is, anxiety is very self sabotaging. We twist our minds into loops and knots thinking about what could happen when for all we know, something good will happen and we just got ourself in knots for no reason.

Something that has gotten me by has been, Pick your battles. If something happens that I can’t control, ie weather maybe or someone else’s actions, etc, I remind myself that worrying about said thing does absolutely nothing to help me and so I am being unfair to myself by trying to control it or take responsibility for the outcome.

May I ask what these thoughts are that you are so scared of and feel that you must control? Perhaps if you take some time to write those thoughts down and try to understand why you think those things, allow yourself to think those things, you might find some relief. As weird as it sounds, as yourself what you need in those times. Do you feel that maybe your thoughts just need to be acknowledged? Do they just need to be released? Understood?

I would suggest NOT trying to control those thoughts. Instead, try to understand them and what they need.

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Thank you so much . I will do the same thing or listen to music to get my mind off something that’s giving me anxiety. Like tonight I came back on here and its really helping me. Knowing I’m not alone in these same situations other people go through.

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