Hey friends, first I want to say Happy New Year to you guys. I hope that 2019 is full of great things and happiness for all of you guys. You guys are all amazing people, and I’m so glad that I’ve been able to get close to so many of you in 2018, and it’s been a freaking amazing year for Heart Support, and I’m so excited to see what happens in 2019.
I’ve always struggled with New Year’s Resolutions, because they never last very long, and when I fail I always feel worse about myself. So going into the new year I knew there were things I wanted to accomplish, do less, and stop doing, but I wasn’t sure where to start.
So a few goals I had
- A year clean from drugs, alcohol, pornography, and self harm
- No isolating
- Have $500 saved by the end of the year
- Respond to a support wall post a day
But in some sense those goals see far fetched and like an impossibility. The first one, I haven’t been sober for more then a month since I was 16, and pornography I’ve struggled with for the past three years off and on. So seeing myself a year clean, seems far fetched and like an impossibility, especially to do all together. So I find myself quickly getting discouraged, feeling like I can’t do this, and I’m already feeling weak and frustrated and I’m only two days in.
The no isolating goal, an I just don’t know about this one. Because sometimes I like to just be alone, and I don’t want to reach out all the time you know? Sometimes I want to be alone and work through things, and although in the past I haven’t been healthy about that if I’m sticking to goal one then isolating shouldn’t be an issue. I know that right now for sure at least once a week I have a scheduled so that’s one time a week of healthy reaching out confirmed. Also, like i’ll be going to therapy once a week starting back on the week of the 14th, so that will be good. I don’t know what a healthy goal is for this, maybe reaching out like three days a week? This goal is stressing me out a lot more then it probably should.
Goal #3 isn’t going to be that hard in my opinion, but I think it’s going to be a healthy way to start saving money, as I have people I want to go visit next summer, plus the heart support meet up etc. So I’m excited for this. Also this goal will not be hard as long as I’m sticking to goal number one then I will be saving a lot of money if I stick to those things.
And goal number four, although that seems reasonable right now, I don’t know how anyone else feels, but being supportive can be emotionally draining. So although I’m doing decently well right now I feel like once school starts and I’m overwhelmed with school and graduation this might be a bit more tough.
So what’s everyone’s advice? How do you set healthy goals, and not stress yourself sick about them? Also how do you replace these bad habits, and negative coping mechanisms with healthy ones? So like yesterday when I got home from work, I wanted to drink and self harm, so I slept for seven hours, which was a bad idea, and isn’t always going to be an option to avoid using, so what’s the better options, or your guys advice and insight.
Love you guys, Hold Fast, You’re Worth It,