The last few weeks I thought I was doing better, but I guess I’m not.
I’ve struggled with eating disorders since my grandma died 7 years ago, but I thought I had been doing better. Though lately it’s been worse than it ever has been, I’ll drink more and more water to fill my stomach instead of eating, when I work I make sure not to eat before I go, and I make sure I don’t eat anything while I’m at work or after I get off of work. I’ll make sure none of the drinks I have contain any calories or carbs, I’ll eat ice to trick my brain into thinking I’m eating so I’m no longer hungry, and it keeps getting worse.
I’m really starting to worry myself, but at the same time I can’t seem to stop no matter how hard I try, because even thought I only weigh 137.0 lbs. (pounds) and all my co-workers try to make me eat because they think I’m to skinny. I just want to be skinner. I just want to see myself as skinny because maybe that will make me happier.
I don’t really know, I’m just kind of worried.
Hey Luca,
I am sorry you are struggling with this. Eating disorders are so hard because of the constant mental battle of knowing you need food to live but also wanting to be thinner and thinner. Do you think speaking with a counselor would be something you might be interested in trying? Maybe doing so would help you get to the root of why you feel the need to avoid food and to keep losing weight. Getting to the root of it will help you take steps towards healing. I know its extremely difficult, but we will be here for you! You are perfect and beautiful just the way you are my friend. We love you!
Hold Fast,
Hannah Rhodes
Hey Luca! You’re so awesome. It’s weird, I’ve never really struggled with eating disorders that much before but recently I suddenly found myself thinking I was sort of fat, even though I’m definitely not (and I weigh over 160 lbs). It was pretty unusual, but one thing I thought was that those thoughts were preparation for meeting someone else who needs freedom from the same thing. I’ve noticed that I get hit with things like that right before God sets someone free.
And God wants to set you free my friend!
I’m a 21 year old dude, and I know that body image is important to many of us at our age. But I think that body image is just a symptom of having a low view of yourself as a whole. Body image wouldn’t be an issue if you believed you were amazing no matter what.
And you’re made in the image of God. That’s the image that you have, and the image of God is the most incredible one you can have! And then it gets even better. Even though we’ve all been marred and distorted from what we were made to be, we can have perfection restored. Hebrews 10:14 says that by Jesus’ sacrifice we become “perfected for all time” - it’s a done deal and it lasts forever! When we believe in him we become perfect. No sin or experience or weight gain or weight loss can take away from that perfection or add to it, because perfect means perfect.
Specifically related to weight and body image, just look in the mirror and start saying over and over that “I look great and am at a healthy weight.” And then you’ll start to believe it. I’ve found that to be the case in my own life, and I believe that clinical psychology supports that. You don’t have to feel it, but just say it and keep saying it. There’s a quote that says if you repeat a lie enough times, people will believe it - imagine if you did the same thing with the truth!!
And never forget, you are so loved by God. His love for you is unconditional.