Feeling like God just wants to get a hold of me and confine me and make me do all of the right things and I just cant. I’m so sick of trying in my own strength and ending up so lost and at the end of my rope. Thinking I need to get away from church and all Christians for a while all they seem to do is try to give you a Bible verse to fix all your problems and it just makes it worse, it’s like another thing I can’t live up to.
I don’t know if I should stay at the church where I am or what. I feel so much more relaxed when I’m with my unchurched friends I don’t feel like I’m walking on eggshells.
Went to a party last weekend and got drunk and honestly had so much fun and felt way more like myself. Just got back from a Sunday service and honestly feeling so drained and unmotivated and weak.
On one hand I love God and I love the direction He’s given me and a chance at new life but on the other hand I can’t carry out everything that’s in that book and I honestly want nothing to do with it right now.
I’m 22 and have been a Christian now for 3 years diagnosed Bipolar Type 1 and recently of a relationship with my fiance
I’m going to be honest, I have no idea how to offer advice here. But I can certainly say I can relate. I have battled with my spirituality and relationship with God for a greater portion of my life. Being autistic has certainly not helped. As having the literal mind of an autistic has made understanding God, religion, faith and Christianity very difficult. A lot of questions and not enough solid answers to help.
I had a long talk about this with my friend the other day during our walk.
There were so many times in my life that I felt conflicted and confused. So many times where I was in the church trying to build a relationship with God, pray, do all of the right things and make the changes I felt I needed to in my life in order to be a good person and humble servant.
Along the way I became confused because of my morals and long desire to love and accept the world. I found the churches and the religions to be against the things I supported and began feeling like I was doing something wrong. My life began to feel like it was a crime. And I didn’t know how to emotionally handle it.
I guess the only advice I can offer here is the advice I put on myself. To speak to counselors (maybe both of the faith and not to see what works for you) to talk to a pastor and church leader. To other trusted Christian friends and express to them how you are feeling. I have a few really amazing Christian friends who are always ever caring, open minded and easy to talk to if I’m feeling conflicted. Granted, they don’t always have the answers I’m looking for, but I can at least trade thoughts without judgement. I don’t know if you have people like this that you can talk to, but if you do, I encourage you to reach out. Share your feelings and see if there can be progress or any kind of insightful information shared that may help you decide how you want to proceed.
It’s a hard thing to understand and apply to our lives. It can be scary and challenging. My confusion and struggle to challenges with religion and God have definitely taken a toll on my emotional health. I’ve always longed for answers and to know what’s right and to do those things. But I’ve also always longed to share my morals that don’t always align. I see a lot of good and bad in the faith and even now I still never know if I’m doing things right. If my beliefs are okay. Or if I’m messing up.
So you are not alone in that. At all.
I hope you find some peace and healing in your faith. That you find the answers that you need to help you decide how you want to move forward and live your life. And I hope that whatever you find out and decide upon that you can live happily and comfortably with your decision
Don’t be too hard on yourself if you feel like you can’t follow exactly what the Bible says, especially during difficult times. At the end of the day, just love your neighbor as yourself. Also remember to tightly hold onto the Fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control). All else should fall in line.
