So a few months ago my mom had a fit bc I wasnt going to her house consistant enough for her. As a result she packed up all my things and pretty much told me not to come back…Now 2 months later she denies all that and tries to set up dinner or something. I think about forgiving her but that thought went out the window when she starts repeating actions she did when I was younger…not showing up…I’m trying to get over her and be done with her…but I find it super hard considering its the person who gave birth to me…Shes hurt me so much emotionally in my life and I am just so sick of it…It is hard tho…Its one thing if it was a friend or a significant other…but when its ur family its a whole different story…since she put me down 2 months ago I have been feeling so lost and alone…I feel like this may even leave a mark…
I’m so, so sorry you’ve had to endure that type of thing from your mother. I’m a mom and my son is 30, so this hurts my heart to hear.
It sounds like she is putting unrealistic expectations on you and that is never a good thing. Without knowing your whole story, it sounds like you need to take a break from her for sure. I’m not really sure being done with her would be good, but I really think that putting some distance between the two of you would be good.
Completely deleting her from your life would prob bring on other problems in my opinion. You can put boundaries in place for yourself and still have her in your life…at a big distance if needed, if that makes sense.
My friend moved to a new state to put distance between him and his father, I’m not sure if something like that is an option, but it’s just an idea.
I have actually just made the desicion to move to Colorado with my dad next year to get some distance. Just not sure what to do if she starts wanting me to come back again bfor I actually do move…this isnt the first time she has done something like this to me and I’m almost positive its not going to be the last…Just hard u know?
Thank you for your post
I think so many people can relate to this post, relationships with families especially parent/child can be the most wonderful but often come baggage and emotions that end up causing so many problems later in life and sadly and because we have the same DNA guilt gets involved too.
I believe the most important thing here is your mental wellbeing. It would be great to sit and talk to your Mum about how you are feeling but I’m getting the sense that, that may not be a possibility?
On the same note to what you said about being “family” No one has the right to treat another person poorly especially if that person is family and you do not have to accept that behavior, if it is bringing up memories that are hurting you, if it’s upsetting you then it should stop. Having a title like family does not give anyone the right of passage to make you feel bad so if they can’t listen to you maybe some time away from that is not a bad thing.
Also have you thought about talking to someone about your past? You may find that could help.
You deserve to be treated with love and respect Andy.
We posted a condensed topic to our IRL Support Wall down here in Houston at a mental health awareness event, and asked people to support you. Here is what they wrote, and we hope the support helps!
Love it thank u so much