So, I, um, I haven’t posted here on my own topic yet, but… yeah.
So, I struggled with self-harm, cutting specifically, for years. I stopped almost three years ago (my anniversary is right around the corner, and I’m really looking forward to it), and I’ve sworn to myself that if I go 9 years without taking a blade to my skin, I’ll allow myself to get a tattoo I really want.
But recently I discovered I’ve traded one addiction for another. I had to go to Physical Therapy for a shoulder injury I have, and I was prescribed ibuprofen. I was taking them, and it was helping a lot.
Two nights ago, I was talking with my best friend, and I realized I was abusing. It started off gradually, but I went from 2 pills twice a day to 6 pills 3 times a day. I don’t weigh nearly enough to justify that, and I’ve been out of Physical Therapy for a month. I still need the ibuprofen for inflammation in my shoulder, but I know I can’t use that as an excuse. I know I’m destroying my stomach lining (I’m already getting acid reflux) and I need to stop, and I’m trying, but it’s really hard.
My best friend is trying to convince me to talk to my mom, and I know I need to, but I’m terrified.
I know I just traded one addiction for another, and what scares me is knowing that even if I quit cold turkey on the ibuprofen (I haven’t had any in 48 hours), I might go to something else that I might initially think is harmless. I’m trying to get better, but right now I’m just stuck.